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Before I Was a Mom

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Before I was a Mom…
I made and ate hot meals…
I had unstained clothing…
I had quiet conversations on the telephone.

Before I was a Mom…
I slept in as late as I wanted…
And never worried about how late I went to bed…
I brushed my hair every day.

Before I was Mom…
I cleaned my house every day…
I never tripped over toys in the middle of the night…
I never forgot words to lullabies.

Before I was a Mom…
I didnt worry whether or not my plants were poisonous…
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom…
I had never been thrown up on…
pooped on
spit on
chewed on
peed on
or pinched on by tiny fingers.

Before I was a Mom…
I had complete control of my thoughts…
My body
My mind
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom…
I never held down a screaming child so the doctor can give shots…
I never looked into teary eyes and cried…
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin…
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom…
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didnt want to put him down…
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldnt stop the hurt…
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much…
I never knew you could love someone so much that you just met for the first time…
I never knew just how much I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom…
I didnt know the feeling of having my heart outside my body…
I didnt know how special it would feel to feed a hungry baby…
I didnt know that bond between a Mother and her child.

Before I was a Mom…
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was ok…
I had never known the warmth…
the joy
the love
the heartache
the satisfaction
the total fulfillment of being a Mom.
I didnt know I was capable of feeling so much…Before I was a Mom.

(I wrote this about my son Michael. We were blessed with him through the fost/adopt program. He is and will always be the light of my life.)

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