Love Changes Things
A mother shares her triumph while helping her son with attachment issues
Yesterday Dear Hubby and I met with The Captain’s attachment therapist. Between the three of us, we have decided to suspend his therapy for now. I can hardly believe I am writing these words!
Sometime around Thanksgiving, I realized The Captain is definitely attached to me. He makes regular eye contact, he looks at me when he is uncertain, he runs to meet me off the bus, he’s a love bug. Over the holidays, he showed a lot of affection to Daddy, too, which is new for him.
While he still has issues to deal with in therapy, we are postponing those until he is better at talking. He has symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) but we really need him to talk to make much progress on that front. Our amazing therapist, Ms. Pat, did manage to give him a great stress reduction technique, four-square breathing. She admitted yesterday that when she introduced it, she did not have any true hope of it working. I laughed because I did not have any hope for it either!! Even so, I reinforced it constantly at home and although it did take a few weeks — and I still do have to remind him of the steps — he does use and benefit from the practice. This was a major victory for the little guy and a sign that his trust in us is increasing.
Yes, we have work to do. Yes, he has emotional and academic challenges that we are addressing and chipping away at bit by bit. We can never undo his past, but on the flip side, it has made him who he is. He needed me and I needed him and now we belong to each other.
I am saying this to encourage those of you struggling with attachment disorder. It is hard; it can be disheartening. Every case is different. Yet, there is hope. Love changes things. Time allows for progress. Be patient, love large, take care of yourself, and do not give up.