Selecting an Adoption Agency Guide

It is important to know if you can come to the agency down the road if any questions arise. Open adoption can sometimes come with unexpected hurdles that you may need professional guidance to get through. Also there are emotions that sometimes people do not expect to feel after placement that counseling may be beneficial for. Knowing if they have support groups or that the social workers can continue to help you or anyone else in the triad is important!

This can range greatly based on the adopting couple's preferences, how well their introduction letter is written, and the content of their profile book. But other factors can also come into play, so asking this question is usually a good idea.

Some agencies put a cap to how many families they work with. Other agencies will allow an endless amount, but they will be upfront that it can cause longer wait times depending on how many expectant mothers they also typically work with. Neither is necessarily bad. You just need to know what you are getting into so you aren't later surprised.

This is probably more important than how many families they work with. I'd be more interested in their placement rate statistics. You can ask more specific questions about failed matches, failed placements, and history of placement numbers.

Understanding what they charge for is important. Asking for a breakdown of costs helps you understand your adoption and feel good about the money you are about to spend. Red flags can often show up in unethical adoption agencies when this question is asked.

When we were searching for adoption agencies, we saw some agencies that varied greatly with how they required payment. We had a match fall through before the baby was born, and the agency that we were working with required all the money up front. When the match fell through, they refunded only a small portion of the payment. We were out a lot of money and struggled coming back up with the funds to proceed again. Our local agency however, only charged for things as they came up, and the actual adoption costs were not due until after placement.

Each state varies on what is allowable for living expenses. Some states have no living expenses allowed at all. Be sure you understand the laws of your state and the rules of the agency you select.

Some agencies offer support groups for adoptive parents during the waiting time. While others may not have a formal group or one they can recommend, it is nice to know they are at least receptive to you calling the director or your social worker when you are feeling stressed, anxious, or hopeless.

I know this sounds crazy, but some agencies actually discount biracial or African American children. While at first glance this seems like an incentive to adopt children that there is a lesser demand for, but what it actually says is they devalue these children and see them as being less adoptable. Even if you are not adopting a non-Caucasian child, this is not good. If you are planning to adopt a biracial or African American, is this the message you want to send them, that they were adopted at a "discount"?

Doing a little digging before you call them by browsing their website and checking with the Better Business Bureau could offer great insight. How do they speak to expectant moms on their website? Do they treat them as if they've made their decision, or do they provide them with options and counseling to help them come to the best decision for them and their child? Coercion can come in many forms,and if it starts with the agency want to just "land the baby," it's probably best to move on.

Some agencies fully believe in the powerful healing of open adoption. Other agencies promote promising open adoption as a step in obtaining a child and tell the adoptive parents it can be closed at any time upon their wish. Does the agency support open adoption and provide resources for educating the reasons open adoptions are healthy, or do they just mention it in passing and let you chose?

When you call or email an agency, how long do they take to get back to you? Do they answer all your questions thoroughly and in a way you can understand, or do they skim topics and talk over your head? If you need constant updates and communication, make sure that is something they have the staff for and are willing to provide you. Some agencies are great at getting you what you need but may not communicate through the waiting process as much as you desire. Waiting can be hard, especially when you go long periods of time with no updates.

Again, every state differs on what is required of the expectant mother and the agency when pursuing adoption. Some agencies will do the bare minimum if they think the biological father could pose a threat to "ruining" the adoption plan. My view on this is everything should be done to keep a first family intact if there is no risk to the child. A father that wants to parent his child should not be considered an obstacle, but celebrated.

When you put together a list of what you are looking for in an adoption agency, asking questions and doing research will hopefully be a little easier and less overwhelming to you. Finding an ethical adoption agency and one that provides ongoing, long term support will go a long way in making sure everyone in the adoption triad is treated fairly.

One of the top questions I get asked by people considering adoption is, “What agency did you use?” People like to know that they can trust the agency with the task of giving them the family they have dreamed of. So that’s the first place to start: If you know anyone who has adopted, ask them what agency they used. Ask them if they liked the experience. Ask them if there was anything they wish they would have known going in. You need to decide what you are looking for, but you may rediscover what you are looking for once you begin your search. Going with your gut, goes a long way!

Be sure to check out our adoption forums to ask questions from other adoptive parents.

Are there other things you would add to this list?

Do you feel there is a hole in your heart that can only be filled by a child? We’ve helped complete 32,000+ adoptions. We would love to help you through your adoption journey. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.