Taking a Break as a Couple

Using respite care is helpful for a couple.

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silhouette-tasting-graphicsfairy007bgIt’s been two years since Dear Hubby and I took our 4-day getaway.  That was the first and last time we used respite care.  The real question is, “What are we waiting for?”

In actuality, we’re waiting for September and our planned cruise.  But that’s not all.  It is so hard for me to ask for help.  That’s the real issue.  If you read about my exciting road trip to Louisiana, you know I had a real lesson in asking for help there.  I simply could not have done what needed to be done without asking for help (pretty much continuously) on that long, difficult day.  Yet, it is still an edge for me.

Here are a few realities of life in our household:

  • While The Captain has made great strides, he still has serious ongoing issues that are very challenging
  • We are still adjusting to our big jump from a family of 4 to a family of 7
  • Raising kids that you have not had from infancy is definitely harder and more breaks are needed
  • We have practically no “couple time”
  • My “alone time” is squeezed into a weekly 20 minute journey to a weight loss class and time spent exercising

This has to change.  Even though we will get a break with school starting and The Captain headed that way for 7 hours a day, I really must do better about getting some respite.

The word respite means (in part), “to get an interval relief from.”  That is the meaning of respite to me.  It is not about waiting until I’m desperate or worn out or at wit’s end.  It’s about an interval that allows me to take a deep breath.  In terms of foster care and adoption, respite care means “temporary or short-term home care of a child.”  That “home care” part is essential; It means I get to be home and comfortable, but without the ongoing responsibility – at least for a little while.

Now that my teens are able to care for the little ones, I think I will have them help with mundane things, like doctor’s appointments, and I will use our respite sitter for that purpose, to have the little ones away for a while.  My goal is to arrange this at least once a month.

How often do you make use of respite care?

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