It used to be that there were 31 luscious flavors of ice cream. Now, it’s probably in the hundreds. It used to be there were limited things we would say to our children about adoption . . . but just like with ice cream, the times have changed. Child-friendly adoption topics of discussion are way beyond the hundreds . . .  they’re limitless, really! But just to get you started on this hot-summer-ice-cream-friendly-day, try these 31 conversation starters. But to make the discussion most memorable, do it with an ice cream cone in hand:

  1. The day you stole our hearts.
  2. Your birth mother’s hopes for you.
  3. Why you were adopted and your siblings weren’t.
  4. How you’re like me, even though you’re adopted.
  5. Where your dimples come from.
  6. Your Gotcha Day.
  7. How to teach your friends what adoption is.
  8. How we chose you, and believe you chose us.
  9. What the first week was like with you.
  10. Let’s write a letter to your birth mother.
  11. Tell me what you think adoption means.
  12. My five favorite adoption moments with you and why.
  13. Fighting for you through the contested adoption – it was worth it.
  14. I thought about you long before you were born.
  15. How we chose your name.
  16. How your uniqueness makes our family better.
  17. All the people who love you (birth family, adoptive family, social worker . . . ).
  18. The first time I saw you.
  19. How your past shaped you to be the magnificent person you are.
  20. “Once Upon A Time” . . . Turn his adoption story into a fairy tale, then tell the story over ice cream.
  21. Three things your birth mother said to you.
  22. Will you adopt a child when you’re a dad/mom?
  23. Funny things you said when you were first learning English.
  24. What I love about your heritage/ethnicity/culture.
  25. Guess who else was adopted?  (family, friends, famous people, Tarzan, etc)
  26. Why you will always be mine.
  27. Your favorite lullaby.
  28. What I know about your birth family.
  29. What makes you special amongst all of our adopted children.
  30. What your siblings said about you when they first saw you.
  31. Why I love you.

As in all relationships, communication between parent and adopted child is crucial. When the child is comfortable talking with his/her parents then gaps close, questions get answered, and confidence abounds. It’s National Ice Cream Month! Celebrate each day with a conversation about adoption over an ice cream cone!