5 Holiday Rituals to Build Attachment

One of my favorite parts of the holiday season is strolling through the downtown area of our city and admiring the twinkle lights in the trees. It’s easy, it’s free, and it gets us outside. Maybe your holiday preparations take you to a farm to choose the perfect tree. Or into your backyard for a giant snowball fight. There’s just something magical about being out and about during this time of year. So, bundle up, head out, and be sure to enjoy a cup of hot cocoa when you get back home.

These can be as simple or as elaborate as you like, but there’s nothing quite like a handmade gift. Grandparents love them. Birth families love them. Teachers and neighbors love them. For the little ones, think about making ornaments with handprints (a quick internet search will turn up tons of ideas). For older kids, maybe you could build or knit or paint something together. Crank up the holiday tunes and get creative as a family.

Especially for older adopted children who may remember being the recipient of other people’s charity, giving back is a great ritual to enjoy together at the holidays. There are tons of ways that you can do this. My daughter and I are volunteering at a Christmas party for kids in our community with incarcerated parents. You could go caroling at a nursing home, bake cookies and deliver them to a fire station, or save money together to donate to a favorite charity.

This is a great time of year to share stories. As you decorate the tree, talk about the story behind special ornaments. Tell the story of why you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah or both or neither. Pop some popcorn and watch a festive movie together, and then laugh together as you retell the funny parts again and again. Invite your kids to tell their stories too . . . of holiday memories (good and bad) or holiday dreams and wishes.


Here’s to a beautiful holiday full of intentional moments of connection with your kids! What are your favorite holiday rituals that help build connection? Let me know in the comments!