5 Ways to be a Jerk to Your Adoption Caseworker

Surefire ways to make your adoption experience as miserable and difficult as possible.

Meghan Rivard February 24, 2016

Most likely, your adoption case worker will be your biggest advocate and your primary contact for any questions and concerns that may arise during your adoption process, so hopefully your personalities will not clash and you will have a good and open relationship with your caseworker.

But, if clashing personalities and a strained relationship with your caseworker are what you are looking for, here’s what you should do:

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Withhold information. Better yet, lie.
1. Withhold information. Better yet, lie.

Your caseworker will need to obtain personal information to write the home study, so it is helpful if you are as open and honest as possible. It is important to disclose anything that may become an issue later. It is much easier to work through any concerns early on, rather than as a surprise later in the process.

Refuse to cooperate.
2. Refuse to cooperate.

I have been through the adoption process and know it can be intimidating and stressful. But please understand that the caseworkers are just doing their job and doing their best to be your advocate. It helps if you cooperate with them, even if that means jumping through more “hoops” than you think are necessary.

Brush off your responsibilities.
3. Brush off your responsibilities.

While your caseworker is your advocate and tries to keep your process “on track,” they need you to provide the required information/documents. If it is necessary to attend trainings or meet additional educational requirements, please complete them in a timely manner. This also applies to timely completion of paperwork. As an adoption caseworker, I get discouraged when I am waiting on a piece of paperwork that is holding up a family’s process.

Cancel visits all the time. Make sure not to call in advance.
4. Cancel visits all the time. Make sure not to call in advance.

Yes, most caseworkers are busy, but should still value your time. If they need to reschedule a visit with you, they should give you a fair notice, but the reverse also holds true. Please value the caseworker’s time and let them know if a scheduling conflict comes up so they don’t have “no show” visits.

Avoid communicating.
5. Avoid communicating.

While some caseworkers may be harder to get in contact with, it is beneficial to stay in touch with them as much as possible. It will help your process go smoother and quicker. It is also important to communicate and inform your caseworker if any major life changes occur: employment change, home change, financial change, etc.

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Meghan Rivard

Meghan is an adoptive mother and a big advocate of adoption and foster care. She resides in Indiana with her husband, their one-year-old daughter who is the center of their lives, and their dog Max. She has a Bachelor's and Master’s Degree in Social Work. Meghan stays at home with her daughter but is so happy she found this outlet to share her personal adoption story and educate about adoption!

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