I am conscious of being adopted as I watch a friend’s journey of becoming a new grandmother to a baby girl. Her son and his wife have been waiting for the first mother to relinquish her rights: to legally, once and for all, say that she is no longer the primary mother of her daughter. To say that she willingly severs that relationship in order to give her daughter what she believes is a better life. Usually that better life is one that has more money and more social opportunity. Fewer stigmas and less societal restriction.
My heart breaks for that mother, and my prayers accompany her daughter. Watching the love of my friend, the new grandmother, has given me a glimpse into the blossoming love of this second family of destiny. Actually, there may be something primal about this growing love they have for their daughter and granddaughter.
Prayer for this baby girl:
Precious daughter. You are an adopted child. You were created and loved first by a mother and father who blessed you and sent you forth in love to find your way in a new world with a family of destiny. Our prayers are with you.
You are on a special journey.
You were born to take your place with people who needed you. Only you. For a reason you don’t yet understand. Already, they are rejoicing.
I know your grandmother of destiny. She lights up when she speaks of you. She says you are the most beautiful baby ever. She sent your picture tentatively at first. Afraid, I think, that she would lose you before she knew you. But once she was sure, ahhhh. She thought that the fact you could open your eyes was a sign you were specially gifted.
Baby girl, you will always know you had a first mother and father. An original loss, in many ways. A forever loss that is hard to explain. I know that haunting of the parallel life.
For you, though, I watched your grandmother, Susan. She was conscious of the potential of loss as well. I could almost see her unspoken questions: Do I dare love this precious baby girl? What if she isn’t able to join my family? I will miss her already before she is even in my arms.
Dearest baby girl, I have witnessed that you are already loved by this second family, this second family who are prepared to risk anything for you.
Remember, adopted one, God has written your plan in the books of the angels. His breath is your breath. His heart is your heart. You are with and without parents. This first step of your journey prepares you to understand that you are His. A child of the universe.
“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They came through you but not from you, and though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.” – Kahlil Gibran