Adult Adoptee Talks About the Shock of Finding Out She Was Adopted

Is it always best to be truthful with your children about their adoption?

Denalee Chapman December 24, 2014

Earlene was adopted before she was old enough to remember anything. Her home life was cozy and happy and joyful. Which is why her mother never told her she was adopted by her dad. Her parents didn’t want to disrupt the peaceful, comfortable feeling in their family by complicating things. So when Earlene (who was named after her birth father, Earl) was about to be married, her mother sat down with Earlene and told her about her birth father. She was shocked.

Years passed before Earlene was ready to pursue any connection with her birth father’s family. Once she made the decision, things rolled pretty quickly. Earlene found that many questions were answered and somehow, even though it was somewhat painful, she began to feel more complete.

I asked Earlene how she thinks things would have gone in her life had she always known she was adopted. Would everything have been easier? Would she have preferred that to the shock of finding out later? She’s not sure. Her growing up years were so joyful and happy – and she wouldn’t change that for anything!

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Denalee Chapman

Denalee is an adoptive mother, a motivational speaker, a writer, and a lover of life. She and her husband have adventured through the hills and valleys of life to find that the highest highs and the lowest lows are equally fulfilling. Book Denalee to speak to your group, or find Denalee's writings, including her books on her website at

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