All I want for Christmas…
A Child Looking to Be Adopted
I turn 4 tomorrow. It feels pretty unlucky to be turning 4 this year. The caseworker was really nice when she brought my birthday present and a cupcake. She said she’s quitting so she can be with her baby more. I asked her if I could be her baby too. She smiled a sad smile and said “no,” but she’s trying to find me a family. I told her I’d miss her but probably I won’t.
Anyway Santa, all I want for Christmas is a forever family. I know I asked you last year and the year before that and the year before that. But no one picked me. A lady came and took pictures of me. She dressed me in a cute dress and gave me a pretty matching bow. She made me brush my hair. She said when people see the pictures in the newspaper they will for sure want to adopt me. I hope she’s right, but she’s probably wrong. Anyway, the Smiths aren’t so bad and they said I could stay with them as long as I needed. Except they are old. Their kids are all grown up, and I feel all alone. It is kind of boring. I’d like to have a brother or sister to play with. Or a puppy. Maybe both?
Santa could you please bring me a family. All I want for Christmas is a family to love me and tuck me in at night and buy me cute dresses. I want someone to hold my hand when I feel sad. I’m a good girl. I know I am.
I know you’re busy. Please? I won’t ask for anything else ever again. Please?
An Expectant Mother
Look, I know you aren’t real. I’m not stupid, but something about writing these letters always seems to help me. Even when I knew there was no way I was getting those rollerblades I wanted, asking you in a letter made it feel like a possibility. So here we go again. I’m pregnant. I don’t know what to do. It is a little boy. God, I love him. I have always dreamed of being a mom. But not like this. Not alone and not so ashamed. It is stupid. We are in the 21st century and my ex is acting like I have dishonored his family name. My mom said I can move in with her, but there’s a reason I moved out in the first place. She is acting so weird towards me now like I’m 12. I am not a child. I’m 22. She doesn’t get to dictate my life. I can’t just move back home. That seems like a failure. I cannot do that.
Please, please I need a family. I need someone to love us. Could you send someone to love us? I want this baby so bad, but I can’t take care of him. Maybe if his family loved me too, it could be ok. What do I do? The best-case scenario is I keep my job and raise this kid as a single mother. I guess that wouldn’t be so bad. I know lots of women do it. I’m tough. I could make it work. I just don’t know though. Doesn’t this baby deserve more than that?
I can’t believe his daddy doesn’t want him. I expected him to step up, you know? When I told him, I expected him to be like….startled but happy. I know he has a lot on his plate. I know school is tough for him and his dad is kinda rough to be around, but the way he acted like it was all my fault like I tricked him or something. That was pretty low. I mean it takes two don’t know?
Anyway Santa, can you help us? You supposedly visit all the people in the world in one night. There has got to be some family that would take us in and love us, right? Someone who isn’t going to be all hateful about me “living in sin” and whatnot? This baby is a dream. He is so chill. He kicks and stuff but I haven’t been really sick or anything. If you could just help a chick out, I’d really appreciate it.
A Hopeful Adoptive Father Wanting to Start a Family
We have reached the point of desperation. The doctor said we can’t have a baby. Something is wrong. We want to adopt, but I know it is a long shot. Just looking at the adoption profiles on the website our agency gave us makes me feel unqualified. We’ve fostered before, but we haven’t been able to adopt.
Santa, all I want for Christmas is a forever family. I want a baby boy or girl (I don’t care which one) to love and care for. I want my wife to stop looking sad when she walks past the nursery we have set up. We expected to have a little one there years ago. It is beautiful. We painted sweet little animal families: Mama, Daddy, and baby pandas, giraffes, hedgehog, puppies, and kittens. It’ was decorated with curtains, new furniture, and a glider rocker that my wife has dreamed of rocking our baby to sleep in.
We even set up a spare bed in there just in case we decided we’d rather sleep in the same room as him or her for a while. Every time I walk down that part of the hall, my eyes go all soft and my shoulders slump. It probably doesn’t help that I’ve cried myself to sleep in there once or twice. It seems so unfair to me that so many people can get pregnant without even trying, and here we are desperate for a baby and all the trying in the world can’t help us.
I’m not angry Santa, I’m just really really sad. Holidays are the absolute worst. I can avoid the baby thing for the better part of the year. Then bam, Christmas season comes and there are 8 million ads about a baby’s first Christmas or spending time with family for the holidays. I find my wife curled up in the fetal position in bed crying, wishing, and praying we had a baby to love. If some expectant mother saw this and she was wanting to place her baby for adoption, could you just nudge her our way? Let her know no one could love her baby more than we could. No one would love her more than we could. Heck, if she will let us adopt her baby, she can move into the house if she wants to.
Thanks for trying,
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A Hopeful Mother Wanting to Complete His Family
I realize I’m a bit old to write to you. I stopped believing a long time ago. I was probably 8 when my friend Nikki told me that you weren’t real and that it was really my mom and dad putting presents underneath the tree. I was 12 when my mom pulled me aside all teary-eyed to tell me that you weren’t real and I wasn’t getting too many presents that year, but could I please “keep the magic” for my little brothers and sisters. I couldn’t bear to tell her I hadn’t believed in ages. She was so dang sincere, I just couldn’t do it. Anyway, even if I had still believed that would explain the socks and underwear I kept getting, I guess.
Anyway, I mean no disrespect. I don’t actually think you’re real, but maybe if you are, you can work some of your magic. Flying reindeer and visiting every house in the world in one night makes this wish seems like pretty small potatoes come to think of it now. I’ve asked Jesus enough times that it seems like I’m just being a bother at this point. I am well aware that’s not how any of this works, but the ways of the heart are a mystery. I am nothing if not mysterious. Ha. Something about this season makes me want to feel the magic again. I figured I could cover all my bases so to speak. That is probably sacrilegious, and I’m sorry about that. I’m not trying to be glib. I’m just desperate.
See, when I was little and I’d write to you on red construction paper with green crayons, I’d leave milk and misshapen sugar cookies and carrots out for you and your reindeer. I wanted simple things. I wanted a doll, book, or some random plastic toy that my parents could happily trot over to the toy store and purchase. I think the most complicated thing I ever asked for was a kitten, and that was met with a firm “no.” So, I knew not to expect it. I wasn’t selfless in my requests ever. I didn’t want world peace or to end hunger. Honestly, I was pretty selfish. Now that I am an adult, I don’t think you could have granted those things but I just need to acknowledge I was only asking for things for myself back then. To set the stage, if you will.
Today is different. I know this is ridiculous, but all I want for Christmas is a forever family. Well to be clear, I want to complete my family. Yes, I have my husband and I have a few kids already. Still, there is this hole in my heart that makes me feel incomplete. We are in the middle of this Covid crisis and 2020 has just been a nightmare. (Which reminds me, should we leave out personal protective equipment for you this year instead of cookies?)
I guess this year has brought into focus the things that really matter to me, and what really matters is family. Part of me is entirely aware it is completely irrational. I want a baby to dress in our family’s cheesy Christmas pajamas and rock to sleep in the light of the Christmas tree. I want to see his sweet smile as he dreams and his little head lull back to sleep as his tiny hand grasps onto my finger. I want to watch him grow into a chubby toddler and see him get excited playing with Christmas wrapping paper and ribbons while ignoring his new toys. I want to see him at 5-years-old jump up and down with joy when he sees his new bike under the tree. He’ll throw a coat and shoes on over his pajamas and go outside and ride it without waiting to see what the other packages hold. I want to watch him grow up into a kind, loving young man who knows that he has a family that loves him. My children are desperate for a little brother or sister to love. I can’t give that to them. We need someone to choose us to parent their precious gift to receive a baby.
I am not stupid. I’m well aware that babies bring sleepless nights, endless diapers, and crying without respite. I know there are bodily fluids and interrupted meals and further divided time. That doesn’t lessen the desire. It makes it stronger because I know those parts are the parts where some parents snap. Where they make angry decisions that will affect the rest of their lives and the rest of their children’s lives. I ache to shelter one more soul from that destruction. Santa, I know it is work. I know it will be hard. But, if you could bring us a baby to complete our family, I’ll leave out all the cookies you want.
ChrissyConsidering adoption? Let us help you on your journey to creating your forever family. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98. Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Do you want more choices with your adoption plan? Do you want to regain more control in your life? Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98. We can help you put together an adoption plan that best meets your needs.