While there are many reasons why adoption is so important, many people feel as if they aren’t quite ready to adopt or place their child for adoption. If you find yourself to be one of those people, you’re not entirely alone. In this article, I was delighted to interview several adoptive parents and birth parents who initially didn’t consider adoption for different reasons. Many of the stories are heartwarming while a few are pretty tear-jerking. Here are their stories.
The Birth Parents
The first birth parents I got to interview decided to remain anonymous.
“My boyfriend and I were 21 and 23 when we found out we were pregnant with our daughter. We both wanted to raise her in a good home but didn’t have the financial means. So, we refused to consider adoption until we faced homelessness. Raising a baby while living in a shelter wasn’t a part of either of our plans, so we worked with a pregnancy counselor to make an open adoption plan. Choosing adoption for our daughter was the best decision for all of us, and we’re glad to be able to see our daughter grow and be with a loving, stable family”
The next birth parent I got to interview, Amy, is a 34-year-old single mother who knew she couldn’t care for her children while struggling with her mental health.
“I’m a single mother who’s currently in the process of placing my three children for adoption. I know that I cannot give them the love and care they need, so I worked with an adoption agency. I talked with my kids, who are between the ages of 5-9, and while they are really sad, they know that I’ll be able to see them again with open adoption. I even include my kids [by] looking at parent profiles. Placing my kids for adoption will be hard on me emotionally, but I’m happy to be giving them a chance at a new life with a loving family”
This birth mother initially decided on a different choice when she found out she was pregnant at 17. However, while talking with a church member, she ultimately decided to place her baby for adoption.
“I was in my senior year of high school when I found out I was pregnant at 17. My parents are devoutly religious, and I was afraid to tell them about my pregnancy. I’ve only told my best friend about my pregnancy, and she suggested that I’d get an abortion. My friend had even offered to take me to the clinic and to be there for emotional support. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go through with an abortion, and with my goals for the future, and I didn’t want to raise my baby either. The following week, I went to church with my family, and one of the church members offered to talk to me after church. I spoke to her about my unexpected pregnancy, how I hadn’t told my parents, and considered abortion. She calmly talked to me about considering adoption instead of abortion and would help me find an excellent Christian adoption agency. She even was there when I told my parents about my plan to place my baby for adoption. Together, we made an adoption plan, and I chose a closed adoption. I thank my parents, the elderly church members, and God for helping me make [my decision]”
The Adoptive Parents
Marie and Jeremy were the first adoptive parents I interviewed who didn’t consider adoption until they faced infertility. Here’s their heartwarming story about how they looked more into adoption and how they adopted internationally.
“After struggling to conceive with fertilization, my husband and I decided to look into adoption. We met while doing missionary work in Haiti, so we decided to adopt a child from there. We felt like Haiti always will have a special place in our hearts, so why not try to go through with an international adoption? We didn’t know what to expect. We started our research on how to adopt from Haiti and spoke with a great adoption professional. It was quite a process, but we kept our faith that God will work everything out. Now, we have an 8-year-old boy, and are currently looking into adopting again”
— Marie and Jeremy
Carla wanted to look into adoption after becoming a social worker and working with children. She knew of so many children who were in foster care waiting to be adopted, so after some thought and research, she decided to adopt twin girls.
“I’m Carla, and I’m a child social worker. A common misconception is that social workers take children away from their parents and that’s not the case. For the longest time, I didn’t want to have children because I didn’t feel like I was ready and that I didn’t believe I had the capability to raise a child on my own. It wasn’t until I started my work in foster care that I knew I had to provide a caring home for twin girls that were on my coworker’s caseload. Long story short, I went to parenting classes, looked all into the adoption process, and ended up being a great mother to my twins”
Ashley and Manny didn’t consider adoption until Ashley’s sister lost custody of her 3 children.
“My husband and I weren’t planning on having children so early in life after only being newly married. When I found out through a social worker that my sister lost custody of her 3 kids (my nephews and niece), I was asked if I was interested in kinship care. After discussing it with Manny, we decided to go through with a kinship adoption. My sister has supervised visits with the kids and the kids love living with us. At first, the adoption was a huge adjustment period for all of us, but now things couldn’t be better”
— Ashely and Manny
There are many reasons people consider adoption whether they choose to adopt or place a child for adoption. I hope this gave a unique perspective of some adoption stories.