Before and After: How Motherhood Changed Me For the Better

Before you, I knew how to love.

Grant and me

After you, I knew how to love fiercely. The term “mama bear” always sounded cute to me, but now I get it. You don’t mess with my kids. My love for them is instinctive, protective, and life-changing.

Before you, I was my first priority.

Avery and me

After you, I rarely think of myself anymore. I serve my plate up last at dinner. I would rather buy you a cute outfit any day over clothes for myself. You’re sick? Let me kiss you until you feel better and until I then get sick. I don’t need to sleep in, eat where I want to eat, or watch what I want to watch on TV. Lets wake up when the sun comes up, eat at Pizza Pie Café when we go out, and watch Transformers Rescue Bots for the 20th time.

Before you, my heart was broken from thinking you would never come.

maternity

After you, I can see God’s hand in leading you straight to me. It is no coincidence that we found each other. Grant, Dad and I finished our paperwork just in time for your birth parents to find us. Avery, your birth mother is best friends with Grant’s birth mother and found us. And after five years of being unable to get pregnant, you decided to come to our family through me, Jocelyn. The timing was perfect every time. Coincidence? Of course not.

Before you, I knew all about how to be a perfect mom.

Bathing Avery

After you, I found I knew nothing at all. I always said, “There is no such thing as colic. That’s just something parents say,” and “I will never let my kids sleep in my bed,” and “You make your kids eat the same dinner as you every night.” Now I’m a believer in colic. 100%. It is real. Jocelyn, you slept in our bed until you were nine months old, and I felt guilty about it every night, but I just needed to sleep! Avery and Grant, I’ll happily make you some mac and cheese if you will just please eat something tonight so you’ll sleep well and grow!

Before you, I laughed a few times a day.

Swimming

After you, I can’t stop laughing at all the clever things you say. Things like “Mom, I want you to put me to bed because you’re my Valentine,” or “Good night stinker Santa Claus cookie no no!” And who can forget the time that Grant told his teacher, “My mom hates Walmart. They never have anything she needs!”

Before you, I thought the world was just fine.

Jossy Birth

After you, the world became more beautiful. And I can’t imagine life without you in it.

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