When Adoption Seems Impossibly Expensive and Complicated

Deciding to adopt was easy for us. We had discussed it before we were married. I had several cousins who were adopted, so I asked my aunts how they went about adopting them. Each story was different. Their adoptions had taken place 20 to 30 years previously and adoption practices had changed. A lot! One thing we needed to consider was how expensive adoption might be. 

We didn’t really know where to start, so we found an agency we were familiar with and made a phone call. They discussed their requirements over the phone with me while I was feverishly taking notes. We met all the requirements, so I set up an initial interview and ended the call feeling overwhelmed.

At the interview, we were given a stack of papers to complete. We went over the costs for adopting. We were asked to begin attending education classes the agency provided to hopeful adoptive parents. As I looked at the stack of papers, it just depressed me. Did I really have to fill out all of this paperwork that seemed personal and intrusive? It included questions about how we were raised, how we planned to raise children, about our infertility, our married life and relationship, our employment, our finances, and the list went on. I tend to procrastinate when I feel overwhelmed, so I left the paperwork in a drawer for about four months before I even began to tackle it.

Then there was the cost of adoption. We had been married just over two years, and while we didn’t have any debt, other than a car, we weren’t in great money-making careers yet and were already tucking away as much as we could to save for a home.

I finally got around to the paperwork, we were able to scrape together enough for our adoption, and in the end, it all worked out; then came three more children at even higher adoption costs, and more complicated paperwork with one international adoption. Here are some tips we’ve learned over the years for getting through the paperwork and paying for an expensive adoption without incurring long-term debt.



I’ve learned through our adoptions that it works out the way it should. There was one adoption we had to turn down because it just was not within our financial means and was expensive. I was devastated at having to say no, but if we had pursued that adoption, we wouldn’t have adopted our twin girls a few months later. I truly believe Heavenly Father wanted those girls to come to our home. So, follow your heart, work hard, and leave the rest in His hands. 






Are you ready to pursue adoption? Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to connect with compassionate, nonjudgmental adoption specialists who can help you get started on the journey of a lifetime.