What I Wish Adoptive Parents Knew

One would be hard-pressed to find adoptive parents who said their worldview did not change completely from their adoption journey. Adoption changes you. It is messy and hard, yet it is one of the most beautiful things you will ever experience. One of the most valuable tools in learning about and from the adoption process is listening to the advice of those who have been there. This does not just include other adoptive parents. The perspective of birth parents and adoptees will also be vital to help you gain a well-rounded and educated understanding of adoption from all sides. Here are a few things that members of the adoptive triad wish that adoptive parents knew.

 

3 Reasons Why Siblings Need Each Other

As I begin to ponder on sibling relationships, I cannot help but think about the talk I had with my children this morning. I was encouraging them to find ways to try and work together instead of against each other. My oldest children are two years apart in age, and they are also opposite genders. They continuously bump heads in disagreements, and I continuously have to referee or help them with their many, many debates. They truly do not yet understand the significance of having each other. This sounds very familiar as I remember my own childhood and how it was filled with times my sister and I constantly argued and fought with one another. It actually wasn’t until my sister and I became adults that we rediscovered our relationship and became closer than ever before. I want my children to reach that sibling unity earlier than my sister and I did so that they can experience the benefits sooner than later. I’ll try my hardest to guide them because I know that sibling relationships are very beneficial. Let me tell you three major reasons why siblings need each other.

Experiencing Post-Adoption Depression in a Second Adoption

When we began our second adoption, it felt like an episode of déjà vu. We filled out the same paperwork, collected the same letters and references. We underwent police clearances, fingerprinting, and visa applications. The day we received our match, we knew our family was complete. We showed our daughter’s photo to our son and anxiously awaited word we could travel. When we journeyed to India to meet our new daughter/sister, it was the most magical time. We explored temples and spice markets, shared tea with the amazing individuals who had cared for our daughter, and got to know our daughter’s birth country through food and stories. Then we returned home.

At first, we seemed okay. Another successful adoption completed! But then the reality of our new life together as a family set in. My son was regressing, hard. My new daughter was clinging, hysterically. I was battling typhoid and sepsis. And my husband had to return to work. Each day I slipped deeper into depression, and each day I wondered why “this time was so different?” True, our first adoption three years ago had been hard, but this struggle felt herculean.

Conversations with fellow adoptive parents helped me realize why our second adoption was so tough. And more importantly why we, as an adoptive community, need to do more to support and acknowledge the challenges of second time adoptive families. Here’s what I have learned through my struggles with post-adoption depression during our second adoption:

5 Most Popular International Adoption Agencies

If you are considering international adoption, get ready for an exciting ride! From referral pictures to meeting your child for the first time to exploring the food and landscape of another nation, there is nothing quite as exhilarating or life-changing. When deciding which country to adopt from, it helps to begin with an agency that has a strong reputation with its clients throughout the U.S. Here are some great international adoption agencies to look into as you begin your journey: