Questions Expectant Parents Should Ask Prospective Adoptive Parents

Choosing an adoptive family for your baby is probably the most difficult decision you will ever face. You can search the internet and  find hundreds of prospective adoptive parents, all vying for your attention. Such an important decision requires the 3 R’s: research, research, research! We asked birth mothers in several Facebook groups the following question:

What questions did you ask, or wish you had asked, prospective adoptive parents?
Their answers appear in the slideshow below.

The most important thing to remember is that you should ask any question that is important to you!

Some birth mothers said that they wanted to know everything, including what formula and diapers the adoptive parents planned on using.

Our son’s birth mother asked us if we were planning on circumcising. Other items that may be important include diet (vegetarian? vegan? organic?), finances, and medical conditions.

Birthmom Buds maintains an excellent Choosing a Family page. Some of the questions from the list above are there, as well as more useful advice.

It’s important to remember that no one is going to parent exactly like you would. If you’re looking for your parenting doppelganger, you may be sorely disappointed. Also, remember that first time parents may think they’ll do one thing, but end up doing another.

What would you add to this list?


Are you considering adoption and want to give your child the best life possible? Let us help you find an adoptive family that you love. Visit or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.