Parents Talk About Changing the Adoption Mindset from “Savior” to Parent

Our panel of adoptive parents share their experiences of going from “saving” the child to becoming a parent nearly overnight. For some, the call to adopt comes because of seeing needy children. For those parents, at first they hope to save children from dire circumstances. But it doesn’t take long to find that you are simply a parent. This means being a parent (often unappreciated) in the way that all parents are. Your internationally adopted children are not thanking you daily for rescuing them. Instead, they become typical children who pout when they don’t get what they want, who have tantrums and need discipline. One of our panel members suggest that you check your motivation for adopting internationally before moving forward. This will ensure that you see reality—becoming a parent—rather than the unreal expectation that you will be a savior.