September 14th 2005

I didn't write last night because my head and shoulder were hurting too much. I blamed the first day of pain on work because it was so totally hectic and I didn't get to really eat dinner, but then yesterday was very slow and I was still hurting. I woke up this morning with an even worse headache starting to go into my jaw with migraine written all over it. I've been taking meds around the clock with the most recent one being a darvocet. I'm kinda numb, but the pain is definitely not gone. I'm assuming now this is from stress and maybe I've been ignoring the fact that we are going to be bringing a teenager home soon, ahhhhhhhhh! I really shouldn't say ignoring, I know it's gonna happen, but maybe all the implications are still settling in my mind and it's got me all tensed up. Hopefully it will get better soon, if not by tonight I'll take my Zomig when I go to bed, then hopefully it will be gone for good in the morning. I got a reply back from ML this morning and she was somewhat helpful, but not at all hopeful. She said the ICPC could take several months and she still needed to submit the paperwork. She's got court today and tomorrow, so I hope she gets it together next week. I'm just gonna keep on emailing her and maybe she'll get going and then maybe even check up on it for us once in a while. I'm worried our Homestudy will be expired and we'll have to go through a bunch of crap again and that may cause an even bigger delay. I've been trying to reach contacts here in MO for ICPC and the such to try and find out what we can do to move the process along. I sent one email today to 4 people and it said 3 addresses were rejected, so I hope the 4th still works there and will get it. I guess otherwise I'm gonna have to start calling DSS and/or DFS to get some answers. It makes it much harder having our SW and Homestudy in OK instead of here because we don't have a contact person for MO. I'll just keep doing what I can and try to get answers from whoever will give them to me. I just really want to see Tara come home before the Holidays and hate for her to miss out on the school year here. ML also said she already mentioned the couple of things about Tara to her counselor so they could discuss them and maybe find out why she was lying and getting so angry. I still say it was her Birthday and just the stress from not being with her family and maybe even the prospect of meeting us. For all she knew we were crazy people, I just hope she sees that we're not and that we all really can be a family together. That's it at the moment, I emailed ML back again with more questions to find out if we can take Tara to a hotel or resort for the weekends we visit in October to spend more time with her. Plus I'd really like to not hang out at the Fosterhome where the other kids get jealous and the Fosterparents talk our ears off.