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We had our first OT hour on Monday. The OT/PT therapist showed me how to do the joint compression and brushing technique for E. She also put him on the swing and used a weighted theraputic snake on his lap while wheeling him around in a wagon. He loved this. I am to do the brushing/joint compression every 2 hours for at least 3 months. This overwhelmed me when she told me, however, the positive far outweighs the few minutes it takes me to do this every 2 hours. I noticed a dramatic change in E's behaviors yesterday. I am unsure if it is the therapy hour or the brushing/joint compression or a little bit of both or we just had a good day? We haven't had a really good day for months so I am fairly certain this is helping him, specifically the joint compression. Also E enjoys this time. This is the child who squirms out of every diaper change, hates to get dressed, and for the most part doesn't like getting lotioned up. Today he has some challenging moments but more typical 2 year old behavior. We had a play date with his cousin who is a year older then him and he was okay despite them both having a hard time sharing and his cousin getting rough with him a few times (E did throw some toys-thats what he does when he gets frustrated) but it is so far from his normal throwing his body all over the ground and off of furniture, olympic worthy gymnastics moments, killing himself excitement when he is overstimulated. I am very thrilled with the results and its only been a day! I promise to update as we go further with this treatment.
The sensory issues he experiences are common for children exposed to Crack Cocaine or who have experienced neglect as an infant/child. I do not share that he was exposed to drugs outside of the medical community, not even my mother who I talk to every day knows....I feel people may have unrealistic low expectations so dh and I made the decision that this will be between us. I will not share with his school teachers. I will share any behavior issues he has but the fact that the cause was most likely drugs is something they do not need to know. This is a personal choice, I feel E's history and should be kept private. He will need to know when he is old enough to comprehend that he has to be very careful around substances due to the addictions in his family and his exposure to drugs. If he chooses to share this with others at that time it will be up to him. I will never tell him his full history. I feel it is something that can only hurt him. Legally his birth mother abandoned him. However, I know from the SW who placed him with us that his birth mom loved him very much. That she knew she could not overcome the addiction that ravaged her soul, body, and mind. SW felt strongly his birth mother knew he was not only better off adopted but adopted outside of his dysfunctional birth family. So she did what she was strong enough to do for E, that was to disappear. I have never felt she abandoned him. I know of phone conversations she had with the cousin/ "God mother" who knew of our plans to adopt and appreciated our caring for E that she was happy to know he was doing well and in our family. I don't think a day goes by she doesn't think of him, at least when she isn't numb.
So on to E's adoption. I know this is irritating me, and maybe you are all sick of hearing about it, those few that read my entries I'm sorry I need to vent! Its unnecessary for it to have taken this long. The SW promised the judge and our attorney to get the paperwork he needs in order to move forward to him by Friday of last week. I called and guess what!? No paperwork was sent. I wish it surprised me. I know she is busy. I very much like this woman's personality. I realize she has a lot of work to do each day and that we are not a top priority, we are "good" and stable and all that good stuff. She knows we are going to adopt E no matter what and regardless of any issue he may develop he is our son, we will fight for him just like we would any child we gave birth to, she knows this and I think it makes it easy for us to be forgotten. I had a chance to listen to a few of her cases, judge went forward with them while I was in the room because they were so delayed that day. Its was hard to listen to the 14 year old who was freed for adoption but her foster family doesn't want her, she is listed on ever website, through every foundation, went to adoption day and nobody wants her, foster family gave her a 10 day notice to have her moved at one point and then decided she could stay for a little longer.... That is what our worker does each and every day. So I do understand but you know what I don't care anymore!!! I called her supervisor today and she promised me she would either get it done and sent today or tomorrow. That our worker is in the field all day and wont' be in the office. I've also heard this before. Our attorney says that he will expedite this as soon as he has what he needs but he cannot move forward without the necessary paperwork from the SW.
I hope to write about our adoption date and our adoption party plan in my next entry.
L
musemoon
YEAH I am so glad that this is starting to work. It's amazing what therapy can do for our kiddos :-)
And come on STATE....let them adopt him already...this is ridiculous...grrr.