Adoption is as hard and complex as becoming a biological parent in most aspects, and several times harder in others. There are more people deciding to adopt today than ever, and want to provide love and care, and a wonderful home for the child they bring into their lives. As with the decision to become a biological parent, your decision to become an adoptive parent also should be arrived at after deliberation, thought and careful consideration. You cannot decide to have a baby just because it is the ‘time you did it’, your friends are getting pregnant or because you want to save a child from an unhappy life. There are stringent conditions, rules and regulations in place to qualify for adoption. They ensure that you are financially, mentally and psychologically ready to meet a baby’s needs. But home visits, adoption panels, health checkups and parenting scrutiny notwithstanding you should also honestly assess whether you are ready to adopt a child. Here are a few things you need to know if you are looking forward to bringing home an adopted baby. 1) Evaluate Your Decision Parenting a child and raising him or her into healthy adulthood is <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/is-adoption-worth-it_b_8579078">not an easy task</a>. It requires patience, understanding, resilience, self-belief, self-awareness, empathy and endless love. If you want to adopt a child in order to save a tender life from its current sufferings and provide a safer environment, then it may not yet be time for you to bring a new baby home. There are millions of suffering children in the world, including refugees, homeless and those from abusive circumstances. But your genuine need to solve their problems alone will not suffice in giving a child a happy home. Your noble intentions will not be enough to sustain you as a parent or as a family through the journey of parenthood. Adopt a baby when you want to have a child and complete your family, and when you are capable of staying invested in building a parent-child relationship. Do your research well and make an informed decision to be an adoptive parent. 2) Decide on Whether You Want to Adopt a Baby or an Older Child This is a hard decision to make and completely depends on the personal preferences and preparedness of the adoptive parents. Older children come into your home informed and aware. They typically have a history they know. They are also part of the decision making process and have decided to be a part of your family. Older children realize the need to build a home and will be willing to make an effort, or at least will be responsive to your love. You may feel that you missed out on the toddler and pre-school years but you still have a very impressionable young person to mold into a fabulous human being. You will have to help your child learn or re-learn things in his new home, and you will also be able to share common interests. If your child is in primary school, then playtime can be the best opportunity to bond. Invest in good quality toys and activities that allow you bond with your child. You can also <a href="https://freebies.org/">avail online freebies</a> and stock up on a variety of games your child is interested in. Be patient and an older child will be quick to pick up. In no time your bundle of joy will be calling you mom. Also, health issues and special needs are already evident in an older child and you are more equipped to deal with them With infants, you have a clean slate to begin with. You get a chance to grow up along with your little one, and build strong and early bonds. You will also get an opportunity to teach the baby habits and behaviors quite early on in life. One of the challenges of adopting an infant is that you may not have access to complete medical history. In some cases, disabilities or health issues may crop up as the child grows. Your parenting journey will be unique and special whether you adopt an older child or a baby. Each scenario has its <a href="http://adoption.about.com/cs/olderchildren/a/olderchild_addi.htm">own set of challenges and opportunities</a>. You will naturally learn the ropes as you go along, and will be happy with the decision you have made. Ensure you take into consideration all factors including your age, financial capability and emotional maturity before deciding whether you would love to bring a newborn or a 13-year old into your life. 3) Be Prepared for Erratic Sleeping Habits Bringing your baby home is one of the most rewarding experiences of one’s life. If you have adopted a few-month old baby or a newborn, there are a few things you need to know. Just as with a biological newborn, your baby will also take time to get adjusted in the new home. Babies who are from orphanages will be used to sleeping in a room full of other kids. Similarly, in many care homes abroad, children are used to sharing their beds with adults. A beautifully-decorated nursery may not be calming enough for your little one. You may have to rock her to sleep or sleep beside her. Anxiety symptoms are more pronounced in children at night, and new parents will be in a continuous learning process as far as managing the sleep patterns of their new baby are concerned. Gradually with time, your baby will learn to relax and get used to sleeping independently. 4) Be Prepared to Adapt You will not be able to set parenting plan in stone while adopting a baby. As your child grows and needs and requirements evolve, you will have to <a href="http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/parenting/foundations/adoption-and-orphans/how-to-develop-a-bond-with-an-adopted-child">adapt as a parent</a>. Rebelliousness, anger, stubbornness, defiance, moodiness and temper tantrums are not unexpected in growing children. But you can expect age-appropriate behavioral challenges at a more intense level in adopted children who may be grappling with other demons as well. Realize that all psychological changes taking place in your tween are informed as well as punctuated by his adoption. He will take time to reach a stage where he can handle the fact that his ‘parents’ are not his ‘birth-parents’ with maturity, and till then you need to take it easy. Deal with your child as you would with your biological child. Do not let your judgment be clouded by the worry if the challenges are more extreme due to adoption. 5) Think About Therapy Adapting and mellowing your parenting style as your little one grows will help you gently steer your child in a desirable direction. Also keep in mind that difficult stages are part of normal child developmental patterns. There may be times when counseling can help, but otherwise patience is all that you need to see your child through. Counseling can be considered as a last resort where it comes after you have tried everything else. Love, compassion, empathy and care will help small children overcome anxiety. They will need your care throughout their lives and you as an adoptive parent needs to know that adoption is a life-long process. Gradually you will be able to help your precious child navigate all the complex feelings and emotions, and reach a more balanced stage of understanding and resilience. Give time to both of you to evolve and grow as a parent and as a child. Conclusion Adoption is hard on all the parties involved. It takes time, effort and a big heart to work through the difficulties and soothe the aching hearts. Nobody is perfect and sometimes the system fails miserably for families and innocent children. Adoption is not for everyone and you need to have an open mind, thick skin and be willing to learn every day. But for all its drawbacks, adopting a child is worth any effort you make to ensure your union is a success. <a href="https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4096/4931221922_c677fb0063_b.jpg">Image Source</a>
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