Adoption is hard. It’s so very hard. And, it’s beautiful. Adoption is heartbreakingly beautiful.
I understand the complexities of adoption.
I’ve lived them.
I live them.
Adoption never leaves you. For the adoptee, it’s a journey that spans a lifetime. Being adopted is an experience we didn’t ask for, or even cause. There are real and raw moments when it seems that the pain and confusion of adoption cannot be overcome. Asking why, often times, seems pointless when answers are hard to find. Adoption can seem unfair. Unjust. Adoption can hurt. You may wonder if you’ll ever move beyond the disempowering feelings.
I want you to know that you can. You can move beyond the hurt. You can transform your relationship with adoption from pain to power, from pieces to promise.
As an adoptee, I’m familiar with the anger that can intensify within. I’ve ached from the weight of unresolved emotions left bottled up inside. I have kept close company with fear. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of connection.
I’ve lived parts of my life trying to inject myself into the past, only to discover that this didn’t really serve me. Trying to change what had already occurred left me feeling defeated and alone. I learned, over the years, that I couldn’t alter my early story. I didn’t hold that kind of power. I couldn’t go back and be the girl I was before adoption entered my life.
Evolving into the woman I dreamed of becoming would require that I reframe my relationship to the past and to my own adoption. This reframing would be the only way forward to a meaningful and empowering transformation.
I had to identify what was preventing me from progressing in my life and in my relationships. What was keeping me from feeling joy, experiencing love and connection, and a sense of purpose and calling?
I discovered that living in the past of adoption and staying stuck in that place would never aide me in sharing the wealth of wisdom and compassion that I possess as an adoptee. I had to take ownership of these gifts. I couldn’t ignore them anymore. In other words, I needed to participate in my own rescue. I had to take responsibility for my life. No longer blaming other people or past situations for my pain.
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