Who do you think we should celebrate on Parent’s Day? A decade ago, I would probably give you a simple answer consisting of mom, dad, and maybe grandparents. However, as I’ve grown personally and as my family has grown via adoption, my answer now is very different. There are many different types of parents in adoption, and It’s important that we celebrate each one.
Birth mothers and birth fathers make a seemingly impossible choice, a bittersweet decision to place their child into the arms of adoptive parents. The love and trust the birth parents have for the adoptive parents, and vice versa, is a beautiful part of adoption. Often times, birth mothers and fathers have supportive parents, siblings, and other extended family. Celebrating each individual for who they are and what role they fill is important.
I would not be a mother if not for my son’s birth parents and their families. My husband wouldn’t be a father if not for the same people. Birth parents are where an adoption begins. Not only should we celebrate them on Parent’s Day, but also on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. In the adoption world, many deem the Saturdays before Mother’s and Father’s Day as Birth Mother’s and Birth Father’s Day. It is important to show our love and respect to our children’s birth parents on these days and every day.
As adoptive parents, my husband and I try our best to do what we promised our son’s birth parents we would do, and this is be the best parents we can possibly be. We had waited such a long time to become parents. We experienced a lot of loss before Harley came, and I confess my husband and I were afraid that we’d never experience parenthood. Now we have the honor of celebrating Mother’s and Father’s Day. I know many adoptive parents who feel odd when being “celebrated,” but most are working hard to be good parents and deserve accolades, like every other parent. Adoptive parents have to jump through a lot of fire hoops when it comes to being approved for adoption. All adoptive parents deserve to be celebrated on Parent’s Day.
Birth grandparents as well as adoptive grandparents have passed on a legacy of love to their children and should also be celebrated.
While there are many types of parents within adoption, we are all striving for a common goal: to love the child and have compassion and respect for all members of the adoption triad.