In the hot, humid summer of 1987, a frail and tiny baby girl was born to a young, scared 18-year-old girl who was preparing to attend nursing school after graduating high school. Due to pregnancy complications, the baby was born 14 weeks premature and weighed only 1 pound, 3 ounces. The girl loved this baby with all of her heart. She then did what she thought was best for the baby at that time: She left the hospital with empty arms and a broken heart.
That was my birthday. I was that tiny, frail baby born today, 27 years ago. My life has been nothing short of a miracle since the day I was born. I grew up always knowing that I was adopted, chosen to be in my amazing family. Yet like most adopted children, I naturally wondered about my birth parents. I wondered if I looked like my birth mother and had any similarities to her. You see, mine was a closed adoption, as they mostly were in the 80’s. I knew that my chances of finding her were slim-to-none.
On every birthday since I can remember, I would wonder about her–wish I could meet her.
Wonder if she thought about me. Had a new family. New daughter. New life. That all changed for my 22nd birthday. I no longer wished to meet her because I found her the week of Mother’s Day in May of 2009.
Six months after I placed my daughter for adoption, the impossible happened. I found and reunited with my birth mother. A tender mercy. The first thing I said to her was, “Thank you!” I thanked her for choosing to give me life. Choosing to make the hardest decision for her. I thanked her for putting my needs above her own. Because at that very moment we related to each other on a deeper level more that I could have ever imagined. We were both birth mothers! Big tough girls! We both chose adoption. We loved our children more than anything and wanted them to have the best possible life even if that meant it wasn’t with us.
Her amazing husband told me that every year on my birthday he would give my birth mother flowers because he knew that she was thinking of me, Not knowing if we would ever see each other again or if I was even alive. That meant the world to me to know that. I grew up 45 minutes away from where she lived with my grandparents. My birthday wish of meeting her was granted 5 years ago. I chose to place my daughter for adoption. It was my choice alone to make. My parents are angels for allowing me to make that choice and supporting me the whole way, even though it was hard for them as well. It wasn’t easy by any means, but it was totally worth it.
I chose to place my daughter for adoption. It was my choice alone to make. My parents are angels for allowing me to make that choice and supporting me the whole way, even though it was hard for them as well. It wasn’t easy by any means, but it was totally worth it.
So with that being said, today, July 27, 2014, is my 27th birthday. As I sit and reflect on the past year, I see that I grew by leaps and bounds. I have had setbacks and disappointment. I have had an indescribable joy. I had two visits from my biological daughter after not seeing her for four years. I have made amazing new friends. I just celebrated my son’s first birthday last week. I am extremely blessed to have seen another year of life. I learn and grow as a woman, wife, friend, and mother every day. I have received many tender mercies from the Lord.
Today, I celebrate me! I am not perfect. I make mistakes. I sin. I have bad hair days (a lot). I yell at my children. I love deeply and fiercely. I am loyal. I am insanely emotional. I am picky. I love my immediate family beyond measure. I have a huge crush on my amazing husband. I was born to be great and to do great things. I am a daughter of God. I am a mother. I am a birth mother. I am an adoptee. I am me, and today I will celebrate all that I am and look forward to another year. What will you celebrate today?