katie

Hello We are currently going through this exact problem. We took our son home from the hospital. The birth father sent a restraining order to stop the adoption, which we received 7 days after bring our son home. Then he did nothing for months. it was not until the child was about 3 months old that the father was ordered to have a DNA test results when they came back it took the birth father another month to file for visitation/custody. Birth father has a troubled home life and lives in an unstable environment himself. The entire pregnancy adoption was the option for both birth parents., birth father was never emotional or financially helpful during or after pregnancy. Our state has a law on willful abandonment. however, every time we bring it up we are told he could basically not do anything to take care of the child for 2 years and show back up. The laws are written to protect the birthfather. But where are the laws to protect our child. Visitations have now started including overnights. our son no longer sleeps through the night as serious attachment issues if i leave the room or put him down. NO one seems concerned with the psychological damage this is causing and again only worried about the birth father. Birth father home has history of substance abuse and domestic violence. There are also accusations of child abuse in the home ( put not one is allowed to get these records because it involves minors) well the minor is no longer a minor and is the one trying to bring this child into the same house this should be looked at|!!!! Sorry for my ramble but no one understands this feeling to be able to actually speak tou your friends, they just can't grasp the emotions that we feel through this process of never knowing what is going to happen. Your right what happens when he takes him home and then he cant take care of him what then, it is said that because he is the biofather he only has to meet the needs to basically keep the child alive, I say again where are the child's right in this mess does he not have the right to a home where he can thrive and not just simple exist!!!!!.