Raquel Rengifo

I am that person that you speak of.. I am an adoptee who recently found my birthmother through an ancestry site. I cannot believe what I am reading.. I understand that you really never thought you would be found and that you are now wishing you could go back to being in a world where that "uncomfortable" event doesn't exist. Unfortunately you chose to bring a child into this world, you are a mother whether you like it or not. You have every right to chose not to be in her life HOWEVER, you have zero rights to keep her out of her birth siblings, and birth family's lives. She has every right to find out whatever answers she may be seeking. My own birthmother hates the fact that I found her, she had abandoned two daughters and kept two sons. I have no idea why she feels this way because she refuses to tell me anything, even my own birthdate. I was adopted from a third world country. I respect her choice and I understand she is not wanting to revisit whatever trauma that may have occurred with my birth however this has caused even more issues. My brothers and I were able to talk for a short while until it became impossible due to her issues around this all. She is controlling and manipulative. Sabotaging any effort of mine to find my roots. Long story short we all no longer speak. I would rather have peace in my life. I have no issue never hearing from her again and I wish her the best. I am a mother myself and I cannot understand this. The saddest part is the fact that my siblings and I cannot have a normal relationship because of her selfishness. All of this to say that I feel you are incredibly selfish in caring only what other 's may think of your "mistake". She deserves to meet her father and any family members that may welcome her with open arms. Please seek help for yourself!