Emotional Healing

What to do when you've decided to place your child with an adoptive family.

Sonia Billadeau April 03, 2014

You’ve decided to place your child with an adoptive family. That decision on its own was difficult. It was heartbreaking. You’ll find that the days following the placement are especially difficult. Some days you may feel that you can’t possibly get out of bed and face the day. Other days may be a little easier than others. Your emotions are strong and sometimes debilitating, especially after making such a hard decision. Emotional healing is the next step. Emotional healing requires a lot of work, perseverance, persistence, and dedication. It is a process. Healing emotionally won’t happen overnight. Here are some ways to find emotional healing in your life:

Patience: This is the key to emotional healing. Because it’s not an easy or simple thing, it requires patience. It will take ample time to fully recover and heal after placing your child. That’s perfectly fine. It’s normal. You should take the time you need to deal with your emotions and then move forward from there.

Counseling: Speaking with a professional counselor can help you sort out your emotions and address each one specifically and independently. Your counselor will help you delve deeper into what you’re feeling. The only way for counseling to be effective is if you are completely honest. Don’t be afraid to share your feelings. Your counselor is there to help you heal and understand yourself.

Support System: You can choose to have your family and friends as your support system or you can join a support group. Either one serves the same purpose. Your support system will be a sounding board for you. They will listen to you and share their own insights and experiences. A support group, in particular, is a safe, unbiased place to open up and share your emotional progression and healing.

Acceptance: One of the major steps of emotional healing is acceptance. You’ll need to accept your situation, your decision, and yourself. Accept that you made the decision that you thought was right; the best one for both you and your child. Again, this is all a process. You may slowly come to accept yourself. Take the time you need. But remember that progression is important and healing is nonexistent without it.

Goals: If you feel that you’re not progressing, start making goals for yourself. They don’t have to be related to your current situation. Your goals don’t have to be in congruence with emotional healing. They can be as simple as working-out three times a week or reading a classic book every month. Whatever it is, make it a goal. You’ll soon find that your life is moving forward.

Healing emotionally isn’t easy. You have to want it. You have to choose not to dwell on your negative emotions, feelings, or experiences. You must embrace the positive and the hope that you once had. It is possible. Find joy again. Heal emotionally.

 

Sonia Billadeau

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Sonia Billadeau

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