Whisper. Whisper his name as you drift into slumber. Think of the few hours spent together after months of getting to know one another. Never speak the name aloud. No one must hear a single utterance of remembrance. Think of his sweet breath on your cheek, the soft touch of his hand in yours. Recall the ultimate love you felt with this first and last physical encounter. Etch his features in your mind. Always kindle this precious love but never let it blaze. No one can know. He must remain your deepest secret. No one shall ever share your joy.
Years will pass. Somehow you will survive, with this little memory tucked in your heart and engraved in your soul.
Somewhere he, too, will remember you and the kindness in your voice. The caress of the love you instilled. Dream of the one day you may meet again. See him in the faces you pass. Imagine him, as he, too, has aged.
Cling to your pain and sorrow, as this is all that remains. No one can strip it from you. It is all you have of him, and no one can take it from you. Those who knew of his existence understand nothing of how you truly feel. They assume you, as they, have totally forgotten him. They deny he was ever yours. Not a person feels sympathy, much less empathy, for your loss. It is as if he never was. His name was never again verbalized. However, you cannot forget. Others may follow and since, as humans we are able to love more than once, life continues.
You may even feel great love for many. But his piece of your heart shall remain vacant, awaiting his return, since love so strong can never be simply replaced. He WAS yours and still is, even though a simple scrawl of your name caused this separation. After all, one should not be expected to forget their firstborn.