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Originally Posted By Jill
When I was six, my mom remarried and I was adopted by her second husband. We moved and apparently my location had been concealed from my birth father. I did not see or hear from him again until my high school graduation (my mom had finally contacted him). I was never close to my stepfather and have been slowly rebuilding a relationship with my birth father (over the past 17 years).
Even though I feel that it shouldn't really matter what my birth certificate says, it really irks me that the stepfather that I dislike and haven't seen in 15 years is listed as my father. Is there some way for me to correct my birth certificate without too much red tape? I tried to get answers from our local government, but they said I would have to hire a lawyer.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Originally Posted By Marcy Axness
Yes, unfortunately, you would need to go through lots of legal hoops, I fear, to do this. Your birth father must have signed away his legal rights & responsibilities prior to your adoption by your step-father; to undo all that will be tough, if even possible. (My guess is that your step-father would have to agree, and sign on the dotted line.)
I'm sure that your birth father is happy knowing that you would LIKE to do this, and I'm happy for you that you've rebuilt a relationship.
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Originally Posted By Karen
There isn't much you can do to "undo" an adoption. You CAN see if you can get a copy of your original birth certificate, if you really need paper with your birth father's name on it.
OR - you can legally change your last name to your birth father's last name.
OR - you can ask your adoptive (step) father to sign a paper terminating his parental rights and have your birth father adopt you. That's IF your state allows adult-adult adoption.
The second option is by far the least expensive, frustrating, and time-consuming & the most feasible.
It depends on what you NEED emotionally. You could sit down with your birth father and just make up a "birth certificate" (unofficial) to affirm the relationship you've re-established. The government is the only entity that really cares about who's listed as your father on your B.C. - and, as an adult, it doesn't really matter to them. (except in certain circumstances, which I'm pretty confident don't apply here.)
Don't know if that helps, but that's pretty much the way it is.
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Originally Posted By Bethany Kathleen Chesney
my adopted father abused me in all possible ways while waving
the adoption papers in front of my nose and saying this gave
hime the right. it started when i was 1 year old and he
married mom. the adoption was when i was 5. im going to be 40
on may 14. both my adopted father and birth father are now
dead, i have changed my name to my mothers maiden name and
yet none of this helps. i have mental disorders including
depression,PTSD,and multiple personalities (DID) because of
everything. i must find a way to undo this adoption. i must
make a public and legal statement that i do not belong to
him, now or ever. if anyone can help, please dont wait. i
would love to have an answer for a birthday gift. also, im
sure im not the only one this happened to......so shouldnt a
precedent be set for those of us who were hurt by adoption? i
am glad that kids are able to be adopted, and most of the
time it turns out good for all involved, but let us be
recognized too. dont be afraid that our stories will reflect
badly on all adoptions. thankx BETHANY
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