Want a family

Originally Posted By SherylHello Joan!I felt compelled to reply to your message. My husband and I adopted four siblings internationally very recently... we brought them home right before Christmas 2001. They are ages 4, 6, 12 and 13. You have to expect that they probably won't consider you as "Mom and Dad" right from day one. They will have been told that you are thier mom and dad now, and they may even call you ma-ma and daddy as our youngest two did, but they may not even really understand the concept of a mom and dad... especially if they come from an orphanage. They day I knew that our children were really accepting me as their mommy was when they told me they loved me. Our thirteen year old daughter still hasn't said I love you, but when I hug her and kiss her and she pretends to hate it and acts embarassed, all the while beaming from ear to ear, I know she's happy.I know that the four and six year old really feel inside that we're their mom and dad, and I know that the older two love us and consider us to be thier parents, but I think it will take them a little longer to really internalize the feeling.The thing is... well, that really isn't a matter of concern for me. I am so happy each and every day just seeing them happy! I haven't had any birth children, and I wanted children so badly. With my soft heart, I really expected to feel hurt if the children didn't completely accept me right away. Now that I'm in the situation though, I would think something was wrong if they did! The children have had a lot of hurt in their young lives, and they should be expected to be reserved for awhile.That's not to say that they don't love us... they most certainly do. Our children don't speak much English, and I'm sure that has slowed things down a little too, but please don't let that turn you off of foreign children if you are considering that option.This is probably rambling and not very well said, but the main thing I want to say is that when you adopt the happiness of the children becomes much more important than your own. As a matter of fact, your happiness doesn't even come into play any longer, because you're just happy! Period!Older children, foreign children, children with special needs if you're up to the challenge... they all are deserving of a good home. And if you have the patience and understanding... and the guts to take that step, you will certainly receive unbelievable blessings!If you are looking for children who will simply love you and think the world revolves around you, you may realistically want to stick with younger children. Our 4 and 6 year old come running every day when I come home from work... Mommy! Mommy! Good Morning! (Even though I work evenings :o) I have to admit... there has never been anything that has made me happier in my life!Good luck with whatever you choose... I sincerely mean that!