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this book, by Claudia Jewett Jarratt, provides guidance for concerned parents who want to talk with children and help them cope and recover from loss. The author offers advise, techniques and innovative ideas for helping children overcome sadness, anger and anxiety. Several chapters in the book discuss the grief process, self esteem, letting go and moving on.
Claudia Jarratt has also written Aopting the Older Child.
Check out my profile ,in order to review a children's picture book I just recently had published.
It may be helpful concerning your children understanding and working through part of the early identity process.
I hope it helps.Enjoy.