Social Worker Agencies What was their reaction when you inquired about adoption?

"I assumed (I know, bad thing to do) that things would be different. I figured that since I had experienceӔ with adoption, they would be a little more accepting. " ~ brandy I've always assumed the opposite... that if people knew I had relinquished a child, they would discriminate against me. Shortly after I placed my son, an ex-teacher recommended me to a friend of hers who was seeking a nanny. My initial meeting with this woman went wonderfully, and I am positive she was on the verge of offering me the job... until I happened to mention that I had a son the same age as her 3-month-old daughter, and that I had relinquished him for adoption. It was as if a mask slammed down over her face upon hearing this news... a mask of disdain and, yes, fear. The interview was over within five minutes, she showed me the door, and needless to say, I did not get that job (her loss, if you ask me ;) ). It did not take me long to realize that people looked at me differently when I told them the truth about my birthmother status. I've been a preschool teacher for years now. I have no doubt that the parents of the children I teach would distrust me if they knew. I have no doubt that I wouldn't have been hired in the first place, if my employers knew. My deepest fear has always been that if I told too many people, I would fall under the scrutiny of the State, and they would attempt to take away my younger child as well. This is also why I have never applied for any type of welfare, even though we've been so poor at times that we've had to choose between buying toilet paper or buying food. I have no doubt that if Child Protective Services was aware I'd placed my first child, they'd start sniffing around trying to take away my little one as well. Paranoid? Well, okay. Whatever. If bmom "privacy" laws are good for anything, it's this. Nobody can force you to walk around with a scarlet letter on your forehead. Nobody needs to know, unless you choose to tell them. It is between you, your child, and the adoptive family. It is absolutely nobody else's business, including the adoption agency's or the state's. The next time you inquire about adopting a child, I wouldn't even tell you're a bmom. After all, the records are sealed. Legally, that child was never born to you. Officially, it never happened. If they're now going to turn around and hold it against you, then don't tell them. DON'T TELL THEM. It has no bearing on your ability to be a good parent. It is not relevant. It is not their business. There's no way they will ever find out, unless you tell them. So, don't. Just my 2 cents. ~ Sharon