Letter To Daughter

June 21, 2005

Well to be honest its not something alot of adoptive parents think about. Father's Day, particularly for young children, are about agknowledging and celebrating "Daddy". If an adoptive parent is thinking about it long and hard, they may realize that the birth parent wants and should be agknowledged on Mother's or Father's Day - but many aparents dont.

That's a very good point, now that I have come around out of feeling sorry for myself a bit and realised my selfishness.

There are a couple of possible reasons why ...

#1) Insecurity. They are her parents therefore agknowledging another parent on those special days can make them feel like "lesser" than they want to feel.

Good valid point, never really thought about it like that.

#2) Not knowing how it will make you feel. Often times aparents ignore those days because they dont want to make you feel badly. They dont want to "remind" you of your loss.

True, it must be hard for her adoptive parent to write even the letter and christmas card. I did hint on when my birthday was but nothing came of it - was I selfish?

#3) Not even crossing their minds. Your daughter has a daddy ... so in their books he is the one who gets agknowledged. Not necessarily the kindest or most generous attitude -- but it is out there.

hmmm possible.

Why cant you send HER a card for Father's Day? Saying something along the lines that you wanted to send her a special card because on the day she was born you became a Father. If they ARE insecure, I would also suggest sending her dad a letter as well agknowledging his role in her life as well.

Jensboys

One thing that has come back to me is that I am sure very sure, that the adoptive parent who was single at the time with another child, that she STILL is single.

And that I could be wrong but gives off the impression she is not interested in men.....

That's a good stable relationship upbringing for my girl.

Are you saying I should send her a fathers day card on fathers day? or for when she was born?

I think either would be a great idea, thanks.

If there is a Mr Dad around, then I don't see why they/he should feel insecure. it's not like I come around every sunday and take her away from him.

Thanks for listening/reading. I feel much better now.