Boy or Girl? Can we choose?

honeyb - As you have stated, most agencies do not want you to specify gender because they have matched prior to birth and do not want any suprise pull out's for the "wrong" sex. Having said that, some agencies will let you give a preference. Just be aware it will lengthen your wait substantially - not only because 1/2 of the births will be boys - but you will also be excluded from bmoms that do not know the gender - limiting yet again the potential bfamilies that you can be shown to. Are you open to any race or do you feel that your criteria is strict in other areas? Bumpkin

I'd suggest the best way to ensure adopting a girl is to choose a form of adoption where the child is already born -- either through the state or adopting internationally. China and India have more girls than boys available for adoption, for example. You won't get a newborn, but you will be certain that the child is a girl. Ultrasounds are occasionally wrong after all, and it would be terribly sad to have a match fall through because of an error in technology.

We are open to any race. We have been waiting for foster care placements with no luck. We have been told that homes are needed for teens, but have choosen not to take teens. I don't think it would be good for our boys age 8 and 4. I would like to clarify: If we went with newborn adoption, we wouldn't be matched with expecting moms. Sonagrams are not 100% accurate. We would have to wait until the agency had a mom and baby that were not matched with a family and had just considered an adoption plan. This may be a long wait. The agency we considered had 4 "already born" babies last year. International adoption is not an option for us, because it is way to expensive. P.S. Our foster license is for any race, 1 or 2 girls, age 0-10, mild to moderate medical problems okay

"Our foster license is for any race, 1 or 2 girls, age 0-10, mild to moderate medical problems okay" are you only taking legal risk placements. it seems like your foster care license should allow for many placemetns. i am surprised you have not been matched or at least considered yet? good luck to you and your search

We are not limited to legal risk. We just our first placement in over 2 years of being licensed. They came to us before Christmas and went home the end of Jan. The caseworker raved about what a great job we did. The grandparents even complimented us on how great the children looked and how much progress they made in such a short time. I know some people who read my posts think there must be something wrong with our family and that is why we haven't been placed. That is not true. We are a great family! We send our homestudy out for waiting children in and outside of our state. We were chosen for the final group of homestudies for one child, but we were not chosen. I get frustrated waiting and waiting.

sorry, i did not mean to imply that i thought threre must be something wrong with your family. just in my area, children fitting your criteria come into care all the time. they are not necissarily available for adoption. i am sure that in your area that is not the case, not that you are not a wonderful family.

We had the same criteria for our adoption and waited THREE years. We had foster placements in between, but they never went through to termination. We now have two girls. They are so much harder than the boys we have! If we adopt any more they will be BOYS! I hope your children will be coming home to you soon!

We have specified gender with our current adoption (we have 2 boys already and have requested a girl). Our agency will allow you to "request", but this is becoming more and more unusual. Esentially, we're waiting for a situation where we will be matched after the baby is born. Ditto with other posters, it does take MUCH longer (we are open to aa or biracial. We were told our waiting would be between 2 and 8 months. We're now in month 5). PM me for more info.