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I recently found my father who abandoned my mother and me over 50 years ago. He disappeared, moved out of the country and we never heard from him again. I have been searching for my father for most of my life. So I was very happy to find him. I wrote to him right away. My letter was answered within a few weeks with an urgent flurry of phone calls from my brother.
As it turns out my father has had a wonderful and charmed life without me. He went on to marry and had 2 more children. I was happy to hear from my brother and assumed it was a friendly call. It was not. He was calling to tell me to stay away, that my father wants nothing to do with me, neither does my sister and that his mother will go insane and kill herself if she ever finds out about me.
That was 4 months ago and I have been upset, sleepless and sad over it ever since. I already know I will have to seek therapy to deal with his rejection.
It would be nice to have a relationship with my brother, sister and my father and his family, but that does not seem possible. I have to be realistic. But at the same time I also would like to exercise my birth rights. For one, I would like to know my paternity with all certainty.
My father is in his 70's and time is of the essence.
How do I at least get a DNA test to determine once and for all my paternity? I want to at least set my ancestral and birth records straight.
Sigh!
Any thoughts on how I can do this and how to proceed? Is it all as hopeless as I think?
Please note, that I was not adopted. My father did not give me up for adoption - he just skipped out. I was eventually placed into an orphanage, left to languish without ever being adopted.