~Relationship Stages After a Reunion

Thank you for your kind sentiment. There have been some positive developments since my original post. I did just as you suggested and began to contact other family members and relatives. As soon as I did that my father had to face the reality of me - as he had to answer to our other relatives. :hissy: This caused a flurry of angry phone exchanges between me and my brother. Since my half brother put his mother (my step mother) in the fore front as the obstacle to over come in order for me to have a relationship with my biological father, naturally I targeted her. I figured what he was telling me was just an excuse to keep me at a distance. I had a feeling that this weak minded and feeble woman is probably a lot stronger, smarter and compassionate than she is given credit for. I decided to gamble on her and give her the benefit of a doubt. I felt she needed to know about me. I decided that I would help my father do the right thing by me and by her. What my brother and father were asking of me was too much. After all it was not my fault that my father did not tell his wife of 50 years that he already had a child with another woman. That he has a daughter. As long as I was to be kept a secret - I would get nowhere. :bullwhip: So I made it clear to the rest of the family that I would make sure that she would find out. I contacted an attorney and started legal proceedings to assert my birth rights in any way or loop hole that I could find. I made such a constant pain of myself that eventually my father relented and told his wife about me. Well, as I suspected, my step mother turns out to be a compassionate woman. She did not go insane nor did she kill herself. What she did was take care of business, as any woman with a little capacity for love in her heart would. :phone: Then I got the happy phone call. I spoke to my father for the first time in my life! Both my father and step mother called me and we talked for about an hour. It was a very friendly conversation, we caught up on each others lives, exchanged information and the call ended on a very positive note. :love: My father told me he would ask my sister to call me. Both my father and my step mother invited me to call them again. I cried for 3 days after the call. I waited and hoped with happy anticipation that my sister would call - but she never did. My brother probably thinks I'm a crazy nut job. I e-mailed him with a friendly note and an apology for being such an ^$#&+* about everything. He called me and left me a nice voice mail message. Made sure to stress ... that he is my HALF brother. Lol He promised to call again at a later date and that we would talk longer. I'm learning that birth family reunions take patience, good legal maneuvering and are an ongoing and gradual process. Even with the positive development I know this will take time. Yet, time is also of the essence. I hope that my father lives the 20 years in good health it will take, for our relationship to evolve. :airplane: I would love to visit him, and even more so, I would love to bring him and his wife to visit me. But I know that would be too much to expect. To bring him into my life and meet this side of his family is my ultimate goal. Once he meets me and sees what I'm all about, I can't imagine him being anything but proud of me and the life I have made for myself. He would bust with pride over his now grown grandchildren, and his outrageously cute - great grand children. Inwardly he must be pleased with himself to have all this added offspring. He would be tremendously pleased ... if he actually took the time and effort upon himself to get to know this part of his family. But ... I'm prepared to give us all some more time ... to get used to the idea of each other. Patience ....