It is with great sadness that I let you know that my dear friend, and former member of this site, Jordanmode, committed suicide today.
Jordan's daughter, Malia, will turn 3 on the 12th never knowing the love of her birthmom.
Jordan's daughter was adopted by parents who promised her a visit and on going contact. They used (actually wrote the book on) "Fast Track Adoption" but treated her as expendible. I have listened to her pain, her agony at broken promises and a relationship she thought she could rely on. I have heard her cry for just ONE meeting with her daughter's mother, I have heard her ache for a video just to hear and see what her daughter looked like. She wanted some beautiful pictures but felt that she could never ask ... for fear of being "cut off" even more. Susan, how can you live with yourself? Your fear and your jealousy did this.
Today the pain became too much. Ohh Jordan I will miss you so much. I hope you find your rainbow.
Is the memory website that my friend (and Cindy's friend) Skye Hardwick made.
Cindy used to be a member here and yes, there are a couple of threads on the forums about her death. However, know that she was required to edit her posts to be all positives about the adoptive family when they discovered her posts here talking about heartache and pain and threatened to cut off contact with her if she didnt change them.
Thanks, gals. I visited the site yesterday. Something about her story had touched me on a very deep level and when I saw the date she died I gasped -- it's my birthday :(
I have thought about her all night and know that thoughts of her will be with me on my birthday this year, which will be the first birthday I spend with my bmom.
I feel sadness for what Cindy went thru, but I think I may be grieving what Malia will never have to look forward to . . . a birthday with her birthmom :(
I honestly believe what comes around, goes around. I always try to take the high road and know that in the end everyone will get what they are due. The book sickens me, as I am tired of society trivializing my life as an adoptee. It is not a game! But I rest in knowing that I don't have to do anything -- though I'd like to -- yet Susan will get what she is due.
Thanks again for sharing.
Does anyone know if there has been any backlash for what has happened? Surely, if an educated "health food guru" created a diet that caused someone to kill themselves or was in some way responsible, even if not directly, for their deaths, then the news would be all over it ensuring that the information got out to discredit the person. Not to say that the author should be discredited based on her "expertise and experience" on Fast Track Adoptions, but surely if you, in the end, do not keep up your end of the bargain and cause somenone else pain, your daughter's birthmom no less, then that needs to be clear to anyone following her "living happily ever after story". (Which of course, ended in the destruction of a woman). How horrible it must have been for her to have lived in fear of them pulling away when all she needed was to be involved in her daughter's life.
I will be praying for all involved.
I think there has been some backlash ... however the "machine" went into overdrive after Cindy died. All negative reviews for the book are removed from sites that sell it (ie Amazon etc as apparently authors can control the reviews that get left up). She was recently the featured speaker at a Resolve (and large infertility support group online) and the whole thing was HEAVILY moderated.
Remember, as has been made abundantly clear, its all about the "process" and promotion, not at all about what M. will think about this when she grows up.
Makes me so mad I vibrate!
Oh Jen,
How did I miss this thread? I'm so sorry for everyone's loss. My husband and I lost a dear friend almost two years ago to suicide. We're still devastated.
I believe that her daughter will find her through this site someday. At that time these awful, selfish people will feel the pain that Jordan must have felt.
My lord!
I am feeling for what Malia will feel in the future. She will loose her mother twice and then question her entire relationship with her amom.
I know it is years away. I hope she will be able to turn to people here without being banned or having to change her feelings in order to post. Just because someone is sad or angry over adoption does not make them wrong, bad or anti adoption.
Cindy will be able to rest knowing you all will be here to help her child when the time comes.
This never should have happened.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Oh this just breaks my heart :(
I truly wish there was someway to expose these people and what they have done. That poor little girl will be devestated one day when she finds out what happened. Ugh!!!!!! :(
The one year anniversary of Cindy Jordan's death is approaching, and we wanted to put together a candlelight service in her memory. If you would please consider lighting a candle for Cindy on April 8th, at 8pm (your time zone) -- Cindy loved candles and would be touched to see all the specks of light shining for her. She is dearly and deeply missed by her family, and those who were blessed to call her "friend".
Also, if you'd like to send a note of encouragment to Cindy's family, please email and they will be forwarded to Cindy's mother to be shared with her family. If you have any questions, please p.m. me.
Thank you for Remembering Cindy ... she truly is unforgettable.
For Cindy's story, please read: [url][/url]
I'm bumping this old thread up for those of us who were not members of this forum in 2004 and for those members who do not know the story of Cindy Jordan. This thread is so sad and should serve as a reminder as to why promises should be kept and commitments honored...
I am so sorry to hear about your loss and the loss of the adopted child. I can't even imagine how hard it is to make a decision like she did to give her child up for adoption let alone being cut off completely. Open adoption means Open adoption. They new what they agreed to from the get go and then to change their minds is just cruel. You all all in my thoughts...
I am remembering Cindy today. Its been five years since her death and I think of her often. She was my friend and she died tragically. Adoption caused her so, so much pain and every single adoptive parent needs to know and remember her story. TO know she was a real person who lived and loved and was absolutely destroyed by her child's adoptive parents. Think of her today please.
Thanks for keeping her memory alive. Her death and the way she was treated prior to it was truely a tragedy.
I never had the honor of knowing Cindy, but I've come to know her story from those who did. I urge everybody to take a few minutes to silently reflect on her life and death. I'm also thinking about all the other birthmoms who have taken their own lives out of desperation and loss of hope...and keeping them in my daily prayers and meditations. :loveyou:
Missy M....I can only hope that the media will have some relationship to honesty and tell it all...not just the drama parts that sell media and make money for furthering media agendas....