Fostering to adopt, dishonest???

I don't think fostering to adopt is dishonest if you are open about your intentions from the beginning and are able to do your part as a foster parent and work toward reunification with the bparents and caseworker. My concern is there seems to be a number of people who foster to adopt but have a negative attitude about the bfamily and the reunification process. They somehow forget or don't listen in training when they are told the first priority or choice in case plan for foster care is reunification. (I know, I now train the classes and see it over and over.) I have been a caseworker in the past and now have adopted two children from the system after fostering them for over a year each. The day we went for our adoptions was bittersweet. I was, of course thrilled to be adopting, but on the other hand so sad that a family was being broken apart. It is so sad to see parents (as in my cases) who were not parented themselves in an even near appropriate way. Because of this they don't have the skills needed to parent their own child. When DSS intervenes and takes the children and places all kinds of expectations on them to insure the home is safe, they are overwhelmed. They are being asked to do something (or create a home environment) that they have never had themselves as a child. So sad. Anyway...back to the subject at hand... If a person is able to foster/adopt children and work together toward reunification and let the child go emotionally in a healthy manner when reunification is successful, I feel it's a wonderful thing. In a situation like this you have a person supporting the child going home but at the same time acting as a type of safety net if for some reason they can't go home. This prevents the child from having another move and breaking more relationships in their lives and thus minimizing the risk of possible attachment problems. Also, that foster/adoptive parent knows first hand the process (the efforts when through to reunify the family) and what happened and knows the birth parents. They can then relay that information to the child at the right time rather than it being lost and forgotten information in a dusty file somewhere. I consider myself so fortunate to have information about my children's lives and what happened from the beginning. I can tell them about the good qualities they have in common with their birthparents. I can tell my son he has his bmom's hair color but looks so much like his bdad. Adoptees have so many questions that many times go unanswered. I'm just glad I have the information and can at least answer a few of them for my children.