Hi there,
I'm new to the forum and am still a hatchling myself at seventeen, though I've recently become very interested in the adoption craze. I'm well aware this is something for later in life, but I'm interested in learning as much as I can.
Seeing as I am gay, I was mostly wondering what rights are available to me (and perhaps whomever I meet for a partner later in life) as an adopting parent. I've been lucky enough to have fantastic parents from birth and I love them dearly. They've been very supporting of me and (nearly) everything I've done and for that, I'm forever in debt.
My curiosity about adoption started a few weeks ago when I met another gay kid who had been kicked out of his house upon coming out at the age of fourteen. He had then gone to the police station and been thrown into the ravaging thrawn of an adoption agency (or whatever happens...he didn't exagerate) and gone from family to family, being rejected and what not because they couldn't deal with his being gay, or something. This made me think, "Are gays allowed to adopt? If so, why not be able to adopt younger gays?"
The line of thought seems logical to me; Let a gay man (and perhaps his lover) adopt a young gay kid who has been rejected by his family. I'm not sure what's wrong with that, but I can find no material on it. If the government wants hinder 5 percent of it's population (the gays) and not let them do anything, which includes the gays in adoption agencies, why not let them take care of one another? I'd imagine gay's in adoption agencies are more difficult to place then straight kids, so why not give the gay adults what they want, and let them adopt the gay kids, who want to be placed in a loving household?
Is this possible? What is the current situation on gay adoption? I've done a bit of research, but the information I've gathered is a bit ambiguous and you all know the net - it's hard to distinguish reliable information from unreliable informtion. So what're the different roads available?
Thanks for the information and help,
Norlund
There are many private and public agencies that allow gay people to adopt and many that do not. When you are ready and the time is right, you need to just do some research on which agencies allow this and you will be well on your way to adopting.
Many require though that you be over 25 and some even over 30.. some will allow a gay couple to adopt and others will allow a single man to adopt.
Also.. try looking into foster care.. this is most likely where this boy was that you were talking about and at times (not always) it can difficult to find foster homes for teenagers and that includes gay teens.
It is great that you are already thinking about this.. you will be able to adopt when you are ready..
Mandy
AaronNorlund
Hello! I just wanted to respond to you as a Lesbian adoptive Mom! My partner and I have been together for more then 10 years and we adopted an infant boy 2 years ago. We live in Canada, where our laws are a lot different then in the states. The province I live in (Nova Scotia) allows for both partners to adopt, no different then a straight couple.
I recently started a thread on this forum specifically as a place for gay and lesbian parents to share their experiences and chat. Please feel free to check it out. Here's the link:
[url]http://forums.adoption.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=140838[/url]
I hope your friends situation works out.
Thanks for the link. This is great! I've read through the first three pages and it's great that so many people are offering advice and asking questions.
When I said earlier I wanted to adopt, I definitely ment when I'm around thirty or so. I'll probably still be in college at twenty-five, as I'd like to go for a masters on my first run, if not a doctorate), depending on how quickly I move. Instrumental performance majors generally take four years for a bachaelors and three more for a masters, and two more after that for a doctorate, so who knows. Either way, I plan on waiting another twelve or thirteen years. I'd like to grow up myself first.
I'm just very interested in learning about everything, for some real odd reason. I'm an avid member of the Big Brother, Big Sister organization and love helping kids, and I can't tell you how much I hate meeting kids who's parents are terrible. I want to contribute to it in any way. My uncle has unofficially adopted nineteen kids (all living with him from hell to college) in their mid to late teens, and I'd love to be able to do something like that. Helping people is something I really want to do later on. I must be a fluk, because I have yet to meet another youngling like myself who wants to help.
Thanks,
Aaron
Hi Aaron!
Another lesbian adoptive mom here. I live in Kentucky, where same-sex couples can not legally adopt together, but adoption by gay men and lesbians is not expressly prohibited. My partner is the adoptive parent of our son, although, of course, we parent together. Once our adoption is finalized, our attorney is recommending that my partner share guardianship with me, so that we both have some rights in place. It really varies so much depending on where you live.
I think it's great that you are learning all you can early on!
I have often wondered if there were specific programs to assist gay and lesbian youth who were kicked out of their homes. I have found information on a few residential homes that are specifically for this situation. I would hope/guess that social workers would look for appropriate situations for these kids where there would be a good fit regardless of sexual orientation.
I, too, have thought about how I could help out with kids who have these kinds of needs, either personally or professionally (I work for non-profits and do fundraising). I think it's wonderful that you are thinking about it when you are so young.
Carmen
We are finishing our foster care licence and have specifically said we would take gay teens. As a lesbian couple, we feel we are well suited to help them. And the SW who works with the teens in our area was very happy to hear our interest.