Advertisements
I am new to this forum and I am very scared about the adoption process. First off I must start by saying that I am 26 years old and my husband and I have been trying for almost 6 years to conceive. It makes me mad to see women having babies left and right and cannot take care of them and I can't have just one. (Im sure there are others that have felt the same way). Now my story begins. A friend of mine that I have known for over 10 years is pregnant. The 1st child she had our sophmore year in high school (the child lives with her father). By our graduation she was walking across the stage pregnant with child #2. Four years later child #3 and two years ago child #4. She got into some trouble and her mother has temporary custody of children 2, 3 and 4 provided she completes some parenting course. Here is the twist she is pregnant and the state has advised her that she needs to find someone to care for this unborn child or it will go into foster care. She asked me if we would adopt the little girl that she is currently pregnant with. The problem is this, I no longer live in the same state as her and social srvcs suggested that it might be quicker and easier if we went through a private adoption agency; problem, she is due any day now and that type of funding is hard to come by on such short notice. The social worker however did hint that if she left the state prior to her having the baby they would have no say over what happens to the child since she would not be born in the state where the mother has issues. My question is this true? If so she can come stay with me until she has her. Also is there a way to file for an adoption without having to pay all those fees? I found one form online but I think that it might be more than one form. Someone please help as time is drifting away. Very Dazed and Confused!!! :-(
Like
Share
There are three things you will need to have in place to adopt this child: 1. Homestudy in accordance with your state's laws 2. Legal termination of parental rights for the biological parents 3. Post-placement supervision in accordance with your state's laws First, when you say 'all these fees' have you researched or are you going by what you've heard or seen on the net? If you haven't researched, I'd highly recommend your getting in touch with attorneys who are experienced in domestic parental placement adoption. You can find the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys' member listing online at [url]www.adoptionattorneys.com.[/url] Call at least three and compare fees, services, experience, etc. In my experience, MOST domestic situations involve total costs under $10L Second, yes it is correct that social services' jurisdiction ends at the state line - if she delivers in a state that is different from the one she lives in, that state's social services is responsible. Should she take the child back to her home state, however, then home state becomes responsible. Another thing to consider though is medical coverage - if Medicaid is paying for her care, how does giving birth in another state impact coverage? Lastly, I see from your profile that you're in VA. We are too - southeastern VA. Please feel free to PM me if you like - I can give you our agency name (they do homestudies) and attorney name. In Virginia, you cannot self-petition to adopt (meaning the online form is useless), an attorney must file in court and the process is quite complicated compared to other states'. HTH, best of luck, Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas
Advertisements
Hello - You could check into some type of guardianship care for the baby until you can have a home study complete and legally adopt the baby. I'm not sure what the laws are about this but it doesn't hurt to check into it, try DHS. I'm sure your friend will need to sign something saying she allows you to care for her child. Keep us all posted and best of luck. Hugs, Deb
If she knows who the father is and he has given his consent to the adoption does he also have to be here in Virginia when the adoption goes through or can she get papers notorized in Florida which he signs saying that he is giving his consent? The other day I spoke with someone that stated that a Home Study must be completed prior to the child being placed in my home, is this true?
The pbfather does not have to execute his termination of parental rights in Virginia, however it's best to have an attorney draw up the papers so that it's done properly for the state in which he resides. In Virginia, you do need a completed home study in place prior to being awarded custody/placement of the child. HTH Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas
Hello there. I am also 26 and my DH and have been ttc for 8 years. We just went through a open private adoption when our little girl was born in May. We knew the birth mother prior also. Ok so I know this will be different because I live in Canada but I will tell you what we had to do to do all of this. We had to go through a adoption agency so you do have to pay for those fees but the fees are not as much as if you were letting them do all of the foot work. The agency costed us $5100, that gave us our home study and history of the birth parents. And also a ear for all of the questions we had. then we had to find a lawyer to go to court for us when the adoption was being finalized. That costed us so far $1500 for the retainer we aren't sure yet if it is going to cost us any more. We had only a few months to prepare for the birth of our child so the agency did a rush on the social worker to come and start the homestudy. We were present at the birth of our daughter and at that point the ** had to sign a temporary care and custody order so that we could bring the baby home and that we could take her to the doctors for her check ups. Then 10 days later the birth parents signed the adoption papers and we had a 30 day wait for the ** wait to be over. And now we are just waiting for the adoption to go to court to be finalized. Good Luck to you, It is a very hard process at times so be prepared and if you are going to go through with trying to adopt start now. Other wise it might be to late and children and families will petition for custody of that baby, and that will make it a little harder. If you need to chat at all, We can arrange a chat.
Advertisements
Hi, my name is Desiree. I am looking forward to adopting a girl who I have know for almost 3 years. She has been calling me mom and my boyfriend dad. She is miserable where she is. She has told me so many time that she wants to run away from home and she still does. She said she wants to run away, so she could live with me. It's like a dream of here's. She wants to come to my house all the time. And she is just the sweetest little girl. Her dad treats her like an animal and she mean so much more then that and deserves to be treated like a human being. Someone please help me. What do I need to do?
Starz
Hi, my name is Desiree. I am looking forward to adopting a girl who I have know for almost 3 years. She has been calling me mom and my boyfriend dad. She is miserable where she is. She has told me so many time that she wants to run away from home and she still does. She said she wants to run away, so she could live with me. It's like a dream of here's. She wants to come to my house all the time. And she is just the sweetest little girl. Her dad treats her like an animal and she mean so much more then that and deserves to be treated like a human being. Someone please help me. What do I need to do?
CRAZY_WOMAN
If she's being abused you need to turn it in. How old is she?
Starz
she is 12. she's not being abused but she has been wanting to live with me since she met me. I was the only one who gave her Christmas and birthday presents. She feels miserable where she is and she wants to move out of there asap. And she wants to be with me. can someone help me? i need to get her out of that house and living with me.
Advertisements
ruth74
If she is being abused or neglected you should call your state's child abuse reporting hotline. If she is not being abused or neglected, you cannot simply get her removed from her family to live with you. Even if she were removed by social services, that does not mean you would be able to adopt her. The first plan would be reunification, with her parents given a case plan to follow for her to be returned home. During that time she would be in foster care. Only if the parents did not complete their case plan would she become available for adoption. I would suggest taking your focus off becoming this child's parents, and instead focus on making sure she is okay. Call DHHS if you suspect she is being abused or neglected; if not, you could contact her parents and see what kind of support they are comfortable with you offering. Remember that just because a 12-year-old is unhappy does not mean that her parents are doing something wrong; there are lots of other possibilities, including that they are holding her accountable in ways she does not like. If you don't think she is being abused or neglected, talking with the parents would be your best bet for making sure she is getting the help and support she needs.