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Hi, I am an adoptee also, but I don't agree with allowing your son to continue to call his biological Mother his 'real Mom' at all.
You have told him the truth and now he is sorting the facts in his 9 year old mind. I remember when I was small, I said something like that once too, all I meant by it when I said 'real' was, the fact that is the Mother that gave birth to me, I certainly didn't mean that my Mom wasn't my 'real' Mom, she always has been. Just talk with him about it some more, I wish you the best snowowl, keep posting. ~Julie