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Ok, oceanica said she was blunt, now I let my hair down, too. Don't say I did not warn you. :evilgrin:
I do not have a very positive feeling about paying birthmother expenses. I think that it is justified in only a few cases and I have some serious issues with it anyway since it IS baby buying.
The more the financial package offered to potential birthparents grows (these days it includes also a generous "postpartum support"), the more it attracts freeloaders and scammers. The problem is that we adoptive parents have little to say because we are in a bad negotiating position: We very much want a baby and are willing to do *anything*. That's why we put on a happy face and pay this "gift". We know that the equation is no gift = no baby.
I mean, in all honesty - who of us really wants to pay "charity" to birthparents?! None of us.
I know I don't want to because in most cases I do not see the justification for it. Pay "food/clothes/rent etc."? Why is that? Is she living under a bridge?? If she is that desperate, she has the option to go to a maternity home. THAT I would pay happily. Pay "postpartum support"? This is paid only if she places, isn't it. Which proves that we not not really want to pay this "charity" unconditionally - we just pay it to get a baby.
Having said all that, I will play along to some degree and pay some "birthmother charity", the reason being that I want to adopt a baby. I did that in my first adoption, will do it again in my second. I am just pragmatic. But if asked for my true opinion, I am against the circus that is going on with the birthmother expenses these days and I think it should be better regulated.