Birth Mother expenses????

I hope I don't offend or hurt anyone as that is not my intent, and I can come across as rude at times. My take is that as aparents we are the ones who are grateful, we are receiving joy, we are receiving a blessing and fulfillment. Bparents are the ones that receive pain, sorrow, a void, grief, and so on. We as aparents feel indebted. We have to separate the "thank you for choosing me as parents for your baby" from "what can I do to thank you" or it becomes a payment for the baby. It's almost like when somebody gives you a kidney or something... there is no way and nothing big enough that you could give or say that could be thank you enough. But we really don't owe anything other than being really good loving parents. It's not our fault someone is pregnant and if the person is in financial need it's not our fault or responsiblity. Anything given is a gift out of compassion for a person who needs it. I feel that paying a lot of expenses lends itself to scamming. That is not to say that a lot of eparents are doing that, just that the people who would do it see an opportunity. In my personal experience, the two scammers I encountered were out for financial gain, and the two successful adoptions didn't require a lot of support. My daughter's bmom got 3000 dollars for maternity related expenses after tpr and my son's bmom asked for no support at all. They acted on the love they had for the little ones only and not on what they could get out of it. So you should decide how much you are willing to and can afford to give as a gift to someone in need regardless of the final outcome and don't set that number so high that you are a target for a scammer, and don't expect anything in return.