how can dfs lie and get away with it?

Hi all I dont thank I clearafied my storie all that well. I was very young yes , 13 and the father was 27 with no help from family members I have three children from this man I had my firsy son by him that is now 19 he is gradutaing with a gpa of 3.85. but I also had twins exactly 1 yr and 1 week apart so I was 15 when I had my twins The father left me needless to say he should of thrown in prison. I had no one to help me Iam not saying there is an excuse but my children was tooken away becouse I had no lights and the twins was sleeping in the same bed at 15 I had no job and dident really know what I was doing . So I had to go threw a lot like parent as teachers clean my house extra Thay gave me back my older son but not my twins.I did every thang thay wanted me to. I did every thang !!!! after a yr and only visit on the week end these baby dident even call me mom no more and was going to foster home to foster home for this whole yr I am sorry but any good mother would see clearly that thay were not attending on giveing me these baby back and I would cry at night wondering what I should do . so was I really a bad mother for putting them up for adoption or should I have let them keep going threw the sytem ?? I give my up most respect for foster parents I work with my kides foster parent. I was told that I could not go threw a privet adoption agency and that when thay turned 18 that we could re unite if thay so choose to. Well I found after th adoption I could have went threw a agency .And sence I started my search I was told oh no not untill there 21 It was very dishearting to me . I under stand that there are parents out there that dont give a crap and every body sercomstanes are diffrent . I was very upset when I wrote the thread Iam still upset with the case workers. but god will do what he thanks is best maybe hopefully he will let me see them. Tammy