what country should we choose?
Originally Posted By Elisha

My husband and I are trying to decide which country to go with for our international adoption. We are concerned that if we adopt from South America, for example, that our child will feel out of place without other Latino children to play with. The area where we live is diverse as far as black and white, but that's about it. Should our lack of community resources be enough to restrict which country we choose?
I think it would put my mind at ease if I could correspond via email with other parents who have adopted internationally and transracially. I'd love to hear your success stories! My address is: lukene@home.com
Re: what country should we choose?
Originally Posted By mamita of a Colombiana

Are you aware of the diversity in children in SouthAmerica? My daughter is fairer then me ( and I am VERY white), and her hair and eyes are lighter then mine, and i very light featured. I have seem blonde haired, blue eyed kids adopted from Colombia, as well as children from Guatemala who look to be Cauc. My daughter looks as though I am her birthmother, which is NOT what I wanted, or expected. Unless oyu are adopting from Asia, you can never be sure as to what your children will look like, Just MHO.
Re: what country should we choose?
Originally Posted By mimi

There was a TV show on international adoption the other day and they concluded that if you adopt a child who is racially different from you and your spouse that it is best if you live in an integrated neighborhood. They also said it is helful to bring their culture into your house (food, art, pictures of leaders from their ethnic background). It was also brought up that if you have biological children and adopt children from a different ethnic background that the children do better if you adopt 2 or more. If you have biological children and want to bring in children that match your family I have heard that Kazahkstan is a good place to look. I understand that it is below Russia and above China. A woman I spoke with said that the children there range from the blond blue eyed Russian children to dark eyed dark skined children and everything in between. They seem to be well taken care of. The rule in Kaz is you need to go there for two weeks and visit the child everyday in the orphanage. Then you take the child to the capital and do the paperwork. I think this is great because it allows you and your child an ajustment period.
Re: Re: what country should we choose?
Originally Posted By mamita - to mimi

My child from Colombia is Caucasian in appearance, and if often mistaken for our birth child. She is lighter then me, with fine, Caucasian , light brown hair, with the same auburn highlights that I have. Of couse, this does not matter to me. You have to realize, that Colombia has a diverse population, and while we were adopting from Colombia, we met a family who were adopting a blonde hair, blue eyed child. You can't generalize what a child wil look like, as there are people with Caucasian features living all over Colombiaand the rest of South America as well.We wanted a very young baby, and that is what we got..... a beautiful 6 week old , tiny angel, who looks like her mommy ( ME !), and who is loved by all.
And no.... we don't live in a racially integrated area. We prefer suburbia, and feel we can raise our child best there. Even though she looks Cauc., we still list her race as Hispanic, and talk to her about her homeland as much as we can.But thank you so much for your insight. Very interesting ! Just be careful what those experts say, as they have known to be wrong, and it seems gullable people just seem to eat up those words! Smile
Re: Re: Re: what country should we choose?
Originally Posted By mamita- to mimi

I forgot to mention, that with a Colombian adoption, you get to pick up your child as soon as you arrive, and that he or she is in your care the whole time you are processing your adoption.This is a lot better then just VISITING your child daily.We felt blessed that we were able to do this, because I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would parent and love a baby so young and healthy! To me, a 6 week old is about as young as you are going to get in an international adoption program.
Re: what country should we choose?
Originally Posted By Beverly G.

Hi...we went to a FACE (families adopting children everywhere) class before adopting. I can't tell you how valuable this was in explaining international vs. domestic adoption, the advantages and disadvantages in adopting from each country and also which agencies were better suited for which country. The country you choose will depend on your personal needs and atributs. They do not tell you which choice to make but rather give you everything you need to make an informed decision. We chose to adopt from China because this process best suited us. The process went very smoothly and we have a very joyful child! We went as a small group and keep in touch with the other families. Good Luck!
Re: what country should we choose?
Originally Posted By Melissa from Tulsa

In my opinion, when choosing a country, you have to have a true respect for that countries culture. Be willing and ready to learn everything you can about that country because your child will probably want to learn about his or her birth land someday. Harbor no stereotypes about the people or customs, be open and embrace the cultural differences. Find a place that you can comfortably talk about with love and your child will be grateful for it and secure about the location in which they were born.
we chose russia because they have such a great variety of children, light skinned, light eyes, dark hair, dark eyes, and every other combination you can think of....and they have thousands of children in orphanages. depending on what you're looking for, i would go with a country that has the type child you are looking for, a stable process, and an agency that has a presence in that country. we also looked in to kazakhstan because they offer healthy babies, and were told that the majority of children had asian features. i've seen pictures of children from both russia and kazakhstan and they're beatiful. feel free to email w/questions.
For those of you that have adopted from Columbia, what agency are you using? I thought Columbia was closed or slow moving right now... what is the story? We might be interested in going there for our son. Can you tell me anything about the process, cost, travel, etc.? My husband and I are considering adopting from Somoa, in the Pacific Islands, but haven't made up our minds yet. We currently have a five yr old daughter who was born in Russia and looks just like us. Because of relatives with native american and polynesian/hawaiian background, we feel like we can go just about anywere and the child would fit in with our family.
we recently adopted from the Republic of Georgia. The coloring is predominately dark hair, brown eyes with fair skin. At the orphanage we saw everything from blond blue eyed to very dark hair and skin with light eyes! It was certainly a mixed bag but everyone was beautiful. I tried to gather heritage items for my daughter when she gets older. On our way back through Moscow our Russian friend pretty much laughed at us and said our daughter would much prefer teddy bears. I mentioned it would be more important when she gets older and she said she would probably want Guess jeans!!!

My point being that these children need homes and they are so happy to be in a loving family. That is what is most important not what physical traits you share with your family or community. All children's wants are the same...Love, trust and security.

Good luck
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