"orphanage behaviors"

I agree! Alexander screamed during baths, teeth brushing, and even diaper changes, for many weeks after we were home. He still is very conscious about crumbs/dropping food. We started out not being able to fill him up, but once the trust was there that we were feeding him regularly, he began to be picky! He obviously knew about napkins/cleaning up. Esp. cleaning up toys and putting them away--all I have to do is ask! He does sucks his thumb and still rocks and bangs himself to sleep...this is something the therapists are working on with us. He was initially VERY afraid of anyone but my husband and myself. He would cling with "the death grip", burry his head in my shoulder, and stuff his thumb in his mouth! Now, he doesn't do that, but is still hesitant with new people. Many people will say their adoptive child will do some of these things, but many do not. I do think it's wise to prepare...but mostly think of it all as transition--the child has been taken from all they've ever known. It's quite challenging for them.

DD hated baths too. I bathed with her for the first three months. It wasn't until she saw her cousins having fun in the bath that she was willing to go in alone. We gave her the teething biscuits that they gave her in the orphanage and she would carry it around for hours -- we called it her security cookie. Eventually (after a few weeks) she realized that there was always another one, so she started eating them a lot! After every bite of food she would present her face for wiping. It was obvious that she was kept quite clean. She also didn't (and still doesn't) like any flecks of dirt on her tray.

We brought our son home at 7 months of age and he used to sing himself to sleep but since he was either rocked or now has his own music to play, that stopped. The one thing I noticed was his awe at anything on the walls or his sheets. I had printed sheets that i needed to remove and replace with white. No mobile at all. The 1st day he was home with us and I tried to feed him, he just kept looking around the kitchen. He was not used to so many objects on the walls. He understood that I was the one who fed him so I had to be there to feed him. It took a couple of months before he would let anyone else do it. I guess he was scared that he would not get food if I was not around. He is over that now by a long shot, so it does improve. He always loved his bath and still does. I gave him a bath in the hotel sink in Moscow and he just loved it. We make a ritual every night and now we read before he goes to bed - 22 months old now. He ate everything in the beginning and it did have to be mashed up. There are still certain foods he won't eat unless they are mashed. He does line up his cups on his crib though and is very meticulous about certain things. I don't think this is orphanage behavior at this point but I don't know either.

Hi, we adopted 2 toddlers at the end of may. This thread is extremley helpful. My son wants to eat everything, after meals he goes around on the floor to see what was dropped, he is never satisfied. If we let him, he would eat til he exploded. It use to be difficult to go grocery shopping because he saw all the food and wanted it but now he is fine at the store. On the other hand, I couldnt get our daughter to eat much. But now I see from other messages it was probably because she was use to having her food mashed. And I finally did start giving her baby foods, and mashed things which she does eat. She doesnt like anything chunky and meat has to be in very tiny pieces or pureed. Our daughter also does the rocking when she is mad, frustrated, or going to sleep. She cant be held and rocked to sleep by us she has to be left alone or she wont go to sleep. Our son loves to put everything away. When I spilled milk on the floor he grabbed a towel and wiped it up. Amazing! Our son is scared of loud noises, new people, and new places. But, most of these behaviors are getting better with time. Tracy

Our little man has been home for 5 long years now and he has made tremendous leaps and bounds! He still will occassionally rock himself when he is very very tired, but this is not often. When he came home he was 14 months old. We would let him rock, but we wanted the bonding time so we held him on our tummies or lap as he did it and often we rocked with him. This behavior eased off within a year of coming home. The cleaning is so funny. He could not deal with cupboard doors being open. I had to put grocieries away when he was outdoors, sleeping or off with dad because he would shut them even as I was unpacking grocieries! He also loved the broom, shovels, very much a neat freak. But alas, all good things must end. He is now a normal little boy of 6 years old and is always covered in dirt and mud and his room is a pigsty! LOL! He still does not like to have dirty hands. If it is wet, sticky and he can feel it it must be washed off fast! As for things being MINE, well, he refused to remove his shoes for the first 2 weeks. So we had to cut the feet from his pjs and bought very soft moccosins for him to wear. And he had to be able to SEE them when he was in the bath or we could not get him in the tub. He did love the water though. Still does. He runs out the hot water every night during his shower. And he wa amazed that he was allowed to touch things at first, the walls, toys, clothes, my hair, etc. every child will have certain behaviors, but they do ease once they are feeling secure in their new family and surroundings. You will all be so amazed at how fast they change and grow and how completely full they make your heart feel! Take lots of pictures because soon you will not believe how big they are!!!! :D