When Foster parents can't let go.
Hello all,

I am at a loss. My family has been looking to adopt a child since around April 2003 and this process has had its ups and downs. Nothing like this last 7 days. After deciding to adopt, taking the necessary training classes, the numerous amounts of processed paperwork, and the appoximate 18 months to have a child matched and place, we were introduced to a child who would be the perfect addition. Only one problem, because this child is in the DYFS system, we have had the pleasure of learning the true meaning of PATIENCE. In the last 20 days, we have met with the youngins case worker and her supervisor. Both expressed their excitement to place him in our home. They have gone out of their way to make this possible. My husband and I have met the child at 1 introductory visit (in a neutral setting) and immediately fell in love. We expressed our feelings to our 2 biological children, and they are equally excited to meet him. This meeting was arranged with the childs school and the fosterparents were notified but says they can't remember. Our 2nd visit was originally scheduled for 10/12...he was mysteriously ill. Then again on 10/14...fosterparents forgot...10/15, fosterparents did a no call/no show. If this continues, we will have to reschedule ever other planned visit and prolong this childs being in "the systerm" It seems the fosterparents are having trouble letting go and do not want to commit to adoption. Does anyone have any words of encouragement. i know this is just beginning but its so close, I could taste it. Well, thanks for the ear.

Hi Monica,

As a foster parent, I agree! They seem to be having trouble letting go!

It's time for the worker to step in and force the issue. Our worker would NEVER allow this to happen to you.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I'm trying to adopt another child through the system and have been very frustrated but for very different reasons.

You should also ask the child's worker about the likelihood of this family deciding they want to adopt this child and if the workers would allow that. I don't want to make you worry, however, in KY the foster parents are given the first chance to adopt the child as that child has more than likely bonded with them.

Good luck and get that worker involved. I wouldn't sit back and stand for it.

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