Is having a fundraiser tacky?????

I'm sorry, I thought your questions were rhetorical. To answer your most recent question--A fundraiser to help someone pay off a medical bill is to help someone with an unforeseen tragedy. It is to help out someone who has had an unexpected turn of events. You certainly didn't plan to have such complications. People are willing to help out neighbors (even ones they don't know) who are burdened by medical bills. They are less likely to help you have a baby (whether by birth or adoption). Choosing to adopt internationally is exactly that, a choice. IMHO, I think it's inappropriate to ask strangers to participate in a fundraiser so you can choose to adopt. It inevitably leads one to the question "if you can't afford the adoption, can you afford the child?" And if I, an adoptive mother, thinks a fundraiser is in poor taste, how do you think people who are less vested in adoption may react? To answer your other questions--I imagine it's unpleasant to have to make monthly payments on something so upsetting. I hope you now have health insurance. As Lorraine pointed out, you could adopt for free, but you've _chosen_ to adopt from overseas. That's fine, I understand the many reasons for that choice--it was my choice too. Also, there are other ways to save/raise money without holding a fundraiser. Getting a second job, canceling cell phone, internet, cable, selling your belongings, refinancing your house, getting rid of a car, raising your insurance deductables are all ways to raise a few thousand extra dollars without asking strangers to come to a fundraiser.