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If you were a birth mother in FLorida in the '60s, please share your story. My mother satyed in an unwed mother's home prior to my birth and I would really like to know what it was like for her.
Lisa
Dear Lisa, as a birthmother who stayed in an unwed mother's home, I can tell you it was scary, uncertain,
and very emotional. You were part of a group of girls with no clue. The only thing we new for certain was that we were pregnant, considered by society as social outcasts. We were not supposed to be seen due to our unsocial behavior. For all of the "so called free love" generation, we were basically considered a pariah. Some of our families were accepting of our situations, and depending on what we were going to do with our babies, mostly hidden away so our terrible secrets would not be known by the neighbors. Life itself inside the institutions, yes institutions, wasn't much better. I went to the Salvation Army home for unwed mothers. I wasn't mistreated, but still considered a wayward child. I was one of the lucky ones. My parents sent me away because I made the conscious decision to do what was right for my child, not because I was ashamed of loving the father of my child, or of loving my child. I was going to make sure my child had all of the things he deserved in life, a future. I knew I couldn't give it to him in my state of mind. I couldn't take care of myself let alone a newborn baby. All in all my stay at the home wasn't bad. There were girls there from ages 12 thru 27. All of us had our own story. Some were there because of rape or incest, some because they really had no business with a child, and some of us were there because we wanted a better life for our children than we knew we could give them. Mine is just one story, as I said I was one of the lucky ones. I hope this may answer some of your questions about what our lives were like. If you are searching for a birthparent, good luck in your search. I too am searching for my child. I'm sure he has lots of questions that only I can answer. God bless.
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My story is similar: although society was a little more accepting, we were mostly far from home to hide it from the neighbors. We were permitted to go on shopping trips for an hour or 2 about once every 2 weeks. I loved to bowl and fortunatly for me the bowling alley was in the same shopping center, so after the nuns left for the grocery store or church or whereever it was they went when they dropped us off, I would go bowling. But I never told anyone for fear of someone saying that I couldn't. Once one of the girls escaped and ran off with her boyfriend. We all went into lockdown for a couple months, not sure how long it continued because it was still on when I left. We couldn't even go out for a walk on the grounds, only a small courtyard10x20 with walls and a locked gate. All windows and doors were locked with bars or keys that only the nuns had. If there was a fire we all would have died because all but one of the nuns was very old and she didn't have keys. ALL OF OUR SCHOOLING WAS DONE ON THE PREMISES. Homebound tutors came in from the county school system. Basically all there was to do was watch T.V. sew and knit. We made baby blankets for the babies that we would never keep and in many cases never even get to hold or see. We played a lot of cards, talked a lot and smoked a lot of cigarettes.
nickychaz
If you were a birth mother in FLorida in the '60s, please share your story. My mother satyed in an unwed mother's home prior to my birth and I would really like to know what it was like for her.
Lisa
I worked till I showed in Miami in 1964.. I got pregnant in Boston and ran away from the situation.. there and went home on the Greyhound bus to Miami.. I was 21 then..I turned 22 in September of that year.. I had my son in Aug.. the next year.. This very day..
Forty years ago..
Mom and I decided that I was to get an abortion.. I got a job as an airline stewardess flying from Miami airport to Freeport Grand Bahamas..
Trouble was I would not go through with getting an abortion.. I kept trying but everything stopped me.. I finally saw that I was supposed to have my son..
I flew on that Viscount DC6 (not very sure that was the correct term) till I showed.. I lived in Grand Bahamas and never went to my parents home in Miami unless it was night..
When I started to show mom and dad found me a motel in Boca.. (my bson lived there for a while when he was growing up).. We made up a story about my husband being in Vietnam.. I hid there alone till I went into labour..
Mom and dad brought me food.. etc..
So I did not go into a home.. but I did experience the shame of not being right.. Heck I was totally wrong.. LOL
But hey..
Happy birthday to my son.. God bless..
Jackie
It might not have been Florida but I was in a home in Missouri in 1970. My parents were older and still believed I would be an embaressmnet to the family. Heck society even thought we were horrible people. It might have been the "hippie generation" and free love just don't have a child out of wedlock.
The home I stayed at was originally a mansion with many acreas surrounding it. Over the years a nursing home was built on the property. Some of the girls were able to work in the kitchen of the nursing home.
We spent our days, watching TV, reading, sewing, doing crafts or just talking. The only set schedule was meals and lights out. The girls who came from out of town were able to go to the local mall. I never did as I grew up in the same town. We had to sign out to even leave the house to sit on the front porch.
You didn't have many visitors but could use the pay phone.
The whole experience left its mark on many a girl. The feeling of isolation, worthlessness, low self esteem. Here you were sharing the same experience, have a baby, with numerous other girls, but yet we really didn't speak of it because we would be giving our babies up. We were told not to name our children, not to hold them or feed them at the hospital, even not to see them. We were to leave that hospital and put the last nine months behind us like nothing ever happened.
After you left the home feelings of isolation and worthlessness would continue. Being back in society was just as hard as being locked up. Imagine going to that first baby shower all the older women sharing their birth stories and having to sit there and be quiet. Maybe receive a firm look from your own mother just a reminder to be quiet. So the secret lives on.
I am one of the lucky ones, my birthson and I have been in reunion since Feb 2004. It is not an intense relationship we call each other and have visited back and forth, he lives only 4 hours away. Reuniting with him filled that empty spot in my heart, now all the pieces of the puzzle have been found and the picture is complete.
I did obtain a copy of my medical records and lo and behold there were the records from the home. Reading through them brought back sad and lonely memories. If I was smart then or if any of us were, we would have taken down each others names, home towns and what we had, either girl or boy. Just think how helpful that would be today.
I hope this helps you and others understand a little more.
Dolores
i was an unwed mother in florida. my mother shipped me out to virginia to a home for unwed mothers in richmond virginia. i was sixteen and my life was never the same. you get put in a roultine and you do not belong anywhere you are locked away until you have your baby. the scars are still there and i have been looking for my son and i cannot find him . it is like your life is incomplete . this happened in 1955.
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jean two moons
this happened in 1955.
My goodness you have been waiting a long time..
I am so sorry..
Jackie
My Friend Was In Florence Critten Unwed Mothers And Shen Is Still Searching Infant Dob.4/1961?62 Or63 In St Petersonville
In 1973...the one thing that stays with me more than anything els was the day I was taking there was "wow there 20 more girls like me!!" I had not a clue about being pregnant.. for no one said anything about having babies out loud....man has times changed I am now a grandma of 7 and one on the way and we all play with the preggy tummies and just love talking about a baby growing and what is happening inside....I was 15 and honest to goodness was never told how that baby was coming out..much less how bad it was gonna hurt during dellivery and weeks after..I learned fast though lol...and i think in a way it was our punishment, itwas suppose to hurt cause we was bad girls..but I have to say I was treated very well at the home and do not know what would happened to me if I had not got to be with those girls. Have a lot of good memories some sad ones too...have reunited with my precious daughter 7 years ago.....Regrets?? sure but I can't change a thing so we go forward and make new memories and enjoy life. Esther
I am an adoptee born in Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami FL on October 1, 1967.
I am searching for my bmom and need to know the names of the homes for unwed mothers in Miami. I was adopted through the CHS in Miami. I assume the home she stayed in was in Miami.
My nonidentifying info said she went to a Catholic High School, so I am wondering if the home was also Catholic.
Can anyone help?
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i was a 16 unwed mother living in florida and my mother sent me out out state to richmond , va to a salvation army home for unwed. there was another unwed mother there from florida is 1955 the same as me soembody said she was the governor,s daughter but not sure of this fact
it was terrible in 1955 to have a baby out of wedlock oh the shame and even worse loving the baby and having to give it up for adoption at age 16 . i went into a terrible depression that lasted for months and i still look for my son everywhere and not knowing is such a terrible punishment
If you were a birth mother in FLorida in the '60s, please share your story. My mother satyed in an unwed mother's home prior to my birth and I would really like to know what it was like for her.
Lisa
The Salvation Army home was in Lutz, Fl., right outside of Tampa. I was there in 1969. 25 girls staying in one big room, sleeping on cots, all had jobs to do. Was 9 months pregnant, carrying buckets of water up and down stairs! They also charged $ to stay there. I was there 3 months, paid them $600.00. Were not allowed to leave, only on supervised shopping trips that only happened occasionally. Family had to make appointments to visit
When time for birth came, taken to Tampa General, no suppoet person with us. Felt like we were institutionalized.