What to take if considering adoption?

I'm an amom, so feel free to scroll right on past this, BUT... I think that the decision to place your child for adoption will have to be made all over again once the baby is born. With that in mind, do you have someone who could go get a car seat, onesies, diapers, etc, should your plans change? The hospital does take care of just about everything while you're actually there, so you probably don't need to worry about that. Babies need surprisingly little at first... nightgowns/onesies, formula, and blankets. And diapers... lots and LOTS of diapers! Good luck!

Camera, camera, camera. I am always sad when I realize how few pictures (three) I have of my daughter and me when she was ACTUALLY MY daughter. Camera, camera, camera. In other news, stacey poses good points: Do you HAVE someone who can dart off and buy or BORROW a newborn carseat if you decide to parent while in the hospital? Do not feel pressured to place simply because you don't have things. Friends will leap to your side with hand-me-downs the minute you say you need something. Utilize that if your heart and mind are telling you to parent. Again, Stacey is right in the fact that the decision to place should be made post-birth. If only every Expectant Mother was told that! (Good job, Stacey!!) Best of luck, cnelson. (And, if you usually use conditioner for your hair, take that. I, for some reason, only took shampoo, so my naturally curly hair that I normally wear straight was a MASACRE of MESSY CURLS piled atop me head because I couldn't even get my brush through my hair. Oops?)

You've already received some great advice here. Just wanted to wish you the best :D

Just wanted to add that our birthmother had brought a few outfits to the hospital for our dd. I have kept those for dd when she is older. Jennifer

I just wanted to wish you some peace. I don't think you should be too hard on yourself and say you have been selfish throughout this. I don't think that is fair to you or the baby. You have a lot of things on your mind and nothing is black and white. It's not wrong or selfish to think of yourself. You will have to live within your skin for a very long time, so you better be somewhat selfish about protecting yourself and knowing what you can and can not handle. As an amom who experienced two failed placements at birth, I want to tell you from my heart, that I'm glad I did. I'm glad those mothers kept their babies. I don't want to mother a child when her/his bmother might have wanted to do that or could have done that. Getting over that pain was hard but I did get over it. I also never brought the children home, which I am thankful for. Some acouples who have bought their children home and had to return them, never got over it. Adoption is hard enough without the guilt on one's shoulders if you should place for any other reason besides, it's the right thing to do for YOU and YOUR BABY. Now that I have my son, I can see that this child really was the one for me and now I am at peace. I also wanted to say that I would have loved to have an outfit from either of my children's bmothers for the child. It would have been something special to save, something special she selected just for them. I would also make arrangements to have an infant seat available for you and check to make sure it is not on the recall list if it is not new. The hospital in which we adopted our second child from, actually checked our carseat to make sure it was not recalled. Keep in mind that you don't have to make up your mind in the hospital. You can take the baby home and decide. There is no rush. It's better to take your time and be sure. Good luck to you. I wish you and your baby, the very best! Hugs,

The great thing about the hospital here is that there is a program inside that offers carseats to borrow for ppl who do not have one, or someone who accidently has a recall seat. And after having two children in the same hospital, I know that they do provide a 'survival' pack for new parents who don't have much.So if I do decide to parent I know I'll have help from agencies for the first day or so to get me on my feet. And most likely I will breastfeed my daughter.But it might be nice to take a cute little "going home" outfit even if she's not going with me.Thanks for all your advice.

"Stacey is right in the fact that the decision to place should be made post-birth. If only every Expectant Mother was told that! (Good job, Stacey!!)" one of the first things my agency told me is that in the event that i should be matched with a pbmom prior to delivery, all bparents are informed that the decsion to place is made twice, once when they decide on a family and again after birth. i was glad to hear that, because it really made me feel like pbparents were getting good counseling.

hi, ditto what amom2two says! cameras are great. Please have many photos (multiple rolls) taken of you by several different people. My dh can't photograph to save his life, so there's always too much sky, things aren't centered or heads are hacked off. Hand your camera to many to photog. and get many diff. copies of the same scene just in case. as an aparent, I was thrilled to have dd dressed in an outfit that bmom had (we still have it as well as a gazillion photographs of her in it). If you have a special gift for your child, that would be great too (maybe a rattle, or something). Our birthmom didn't want to take dd's wrist tag, so we have it. I'd encourage you to take home what you'd like to keep, don't worry about aparents. While I love the wristband, I suspect bmom will wish that she had it and will offer it back to her when she's a bit older. If paparents will be around (and you want them around-your choice), have them take pictures of you and your child. I have a ton of dd, taken for a number of reasons. If bmom wanted to place, I wanted her to have those normal photos that everyone has. If she decided to not place, then she'd have those photos too. And they're great for me, since i can show dd just how much her first mom loved her (I have one of her breastfeeding :) ). I also have candids of bmom just having with her friends who stopped by (she was 15 at the time). those are great photos-she's looking at her report card, watching jerry springer, lots of fun shots, all with dd too. we gave our bmom a copy of all the photos we took that day (had them developed w/in a day and gave them the next time we met at the placement ceremony. I want to wish you the best whatever you decide. LisaCA

CNelson, that's gREAT that your hospital has such a program for car seats. Remember, if you need to talk to someone about your decision, ask for a social worker. They have to provide you with one if you ask. *sending hugs*

If you do decide to place, many hospitals will make records, foot prints, etc. in triplicate (one for you, one for birthfather and one for adoptive parents) if you request this. This worked well for me because we ALL were able to get copies of her original birth record (I got the original original)... The hospital also had a wrist band and an ankle band for the baby that matched my wrist band (security! no baby mix ups here!) so I kept mine and one of the baby's and the aparents kept the other one.

I say take what you feel comfortable taking with you. If you want pictures, make sure you have a camera. If you decide to place, I am sure the adoptive family would cherish an outfit provided by you. If you decide to parent, you will have a take home outfit with you. Best wishes in your decision. Toni Hopeful adoptive family for baby girl.

Free to be Me, Actually, not all hospitals do that. I was given absolutely nothing from the hospital except for my wristband. They were a bunch of idiots. I wasn't strong enough to stand up for myself and they didn't believe that I should have contact with thechild. It was so fun.

That is just sickening. The hospital knew I was placing, but they still gave me a bunch of stuff and said I could pass it on to the aparents if I chose to. I also feel as if I did not take enough pics of me, bf, and Zach. Now I'm really wishing I did. But I did send Zach home with ALOT of stuff, stuff that I wanted him to have, like a blue teddy bear, a blanket BF's Godmother made for him and some outfits that I just couldn't resist buying while I was shopping. Have no idea if the family decided to keep any of it, they usually avoid the Q when I ask.

There is a list available at [url]http://www.nurtureadopt.org/bp/takehosp.htm[/url] I would also recommend writing a letter to your baby and have it available to give to the adoptive parents for your child. Pam

[FONT=Comic Sans MS] :mad: Sometimes the hospital staff are not to helpfull or to nosy..[/FONT]The Social Worker on the floor or for the Hospital .. should be able to give you a List of agencies In your area.. TO help you or provide you with services,,, If you are IN las vegas,,,,or Nevada that is what Happends Here... The agency that I Used was awsome!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D THET knew nevada law and my rights