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confused85, I am so touched by your post. I can't see the screen either because of tears. I really admire your courage and strength. I can really tell that you love this little boy so much. I wish there was something I could do to help you. At least give you a hug. Sombody is out there that will be able to help you find the family you are looking for, for your son. There are agencies that specialize in special needs adoptions. I would love to be your friend and listen any time. You can also private message me.
~Em