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Confused, yes there are parents who adopt children with special needs, many with autism. What I'd like you to think about though is that once an adoption is finalized, you would have no rights. You would not be able to make any decisions about his care and have no guarantees that you would have contact. So, even if a parent were to tell you that they will provide ABA therapy, that doesn't necessarily mean it will happen. With the description of the challenges that you have had finding funding and the total cost, I would think that there aren't alot of parents out there who would be able to afford it.
You have opened my eyes to a huge problem. I had no idea that parents were unable to get the best Autism treatment available due to financial constraints. That's really unacceptable. That it would leave a mom who so obviously loves her child feeling that giving him up is the only option... well, something needs to be done to change it!!
In my opinion, with or without ABA, you are the best parent for your child...